I once took a “hero dose” of 1500 units, (15 ministamps) as my first dose - i used LSD 3 times after that.
My first experience was ... very holy. Time stopped. I had hallucinations of spider webs weaved into my visual space, and it mixed with sunlight. I felt i was eternal.
I understood what love is, and what grief is, and why (bear with me now ..) if god would to exist, he would have been the loneliest thing, and in his grief and loneliness, he gave birth to otherness, and here we are. I was my own mother, i was my own father, i was everything that ever was, and i did it all because i had one moment of terrorizing loneliness that i (as god) couldn’t take.
It was all for me, a show i put on to entertain my eternal self, i thought about death and i felt immense gratitude, and i suddenly realized how scared everyone else must really be ... i felt extreme grief and love for my parents.
My other experiments, at much lower doses just made me feel anxious. I watched the joker on 400 units, and I nearly cried. it was extremely intense and jarring. I generally find that LSD will amplify your base emotions, sort of like turning a volume dial to max.
It’s a drug to be respected, the kinds of convictions it can generate in the human mind are intense and the impression they leave is significant.
Its definitely not something i would lightly take, or take often, but am thankful for trying.
It was a little surreal to read your post. The "putting on a show to entertain myself" is essentially word for word how I would describe it.
I generally have a hard time explaining it to others without starting to feel it's a ridiculous, convoluted or even egotistical (especially the whole "we're all god in a way"). In a way, whereas I used to be terrified of death, I now accept that immortality would be the more dreadful alternative. I remember treading on these ideas before having tried any type of drug. I've only ever gotten actually high on weed since then, but those experiences were generally not all that pleasant, e.g. had me becoming anxious/paranoid or generally overly introspective. That's also the reason that I've only ever microdosed LSD before as I fear getting actually high and falling into a more extreme version of that weed-induced paranoia/anxiety.
Out of curiosity, do you still hold onto that experience of oneness or do you just leave it as a "drug-induced" hallucination?
i hold on to it, albeit the intensity varies. if i meditate, it comes back in varying degrees.
if i watch tv, binge or get stressed at work, i become what i call "ego focused", and can't feel that connection.
it takes contemplation sometimes - writing about it put me back there.
the visuals and the actual slowing down of time .. yeah that requires the drugs, although on one meditation retreat i did experience something similar, but much less intense.
if anything, i gained more trust of my internal reality. i downright choose to see what i experience as truth. why must a hallucination not be true? it's been part of human experience since we can remember.
as long as it doesn't turn into some odd horror show.. i find that these "hallucinations" are actually some form of deep communication with something significant inside us, and it's a crime to shun it away as less real than our day to day lives, which are mostly ego projections replaying childhood traumas, not really authentic either, yet we call those real life.
edit; also man, try a goenka vipassana - a single hardcore meditation retreat will help you gain more trust in yourself and more trust in the process of life.
I've had that exact feeling of the 'dreadful alternative' of immortality under the influence of (in retrospect) way too much THC. Also, much of the perceived 'peace' and 'tranquility' some people describe feeling from a perception of being 'connected to everything' manifested the exact opposite feelings in me. All of a sudden I felt completely alone. I do not want to be 'one' with everything because that means there is nothing beyond me.
Perhaps a more positive experience might be one in which you still feel distinct but nevertheless intimately connected with everything. I've done some psilocybin, but never reached anything close to 'ego-death.' I am curious to hear other people's thoughts on how these ego-less experiences make one at peace, and not in complete existential horror (I suppose if there is no ego, there is nothing to 'feel' the horror?).
It took a while for my horror feelings to subside - my “trip started out as a horror trip actually, i simply at somepoint accepted the possibility of maybe not coming back from this - i went to meditation retreats before taking LSD, and i confronted terrible feelings in what people call “dark night of the soul” - so i was primed for letting go and openning up.
You only really need to contemplate it longer, because truthful death awareness, i found, made me appreciate my time better, and the time of those who spend theirs with me.
The initial reaction is fear and a terrible thrashing, like a scared child would experience, which is what is at the center of what we think is the adult self. The child never actually “grows”.
So it’s ok man, you’ll feel ok about it eventually. PM me if youd like to talk about it
Watching a movie like The Joker on psychedelics seems a bad idea to me. The movie is already emotionally disturbing and I wouldn't want that disturbed world to get amplified and burned into my brain. Unless you are super experienced and know what you are getting into I would use psychedelics only for positive and supportive experiences.
you know, i should say that i honestly thought it was a great movie, and the LSD made the gate scene very emotional, and the ending very, very intense and meaningful, i don't regret doing it.
Having been there, do you feel that your attitude towards death has changed?
For me, the experience was interesting but ultimately of limited practical applicability. I can totally relate to the "holy thoughts" you describe, but when back in baseline reality, I'm still the same neurotic, doubtful, agnostic rationalist.
It changed me, in very mild and i would claim beautiful ways. I let go of intellect and just accept the emotion as something that i naturally generate, like the way a tree grows.
Edit; it occured to me that i didn't answer your main question.
I actually dont see a disconnect between normal thought and holy thought.
I imagine i will feel this loneliness and terror and grief and deep sadness at the time of death, and i felt how it might resolve, and it brings a certain joy and a “oh, really? This is actually what it’s about?” And the fear and terror slowly subside into magical relaxation.
So im ok with death, i was ok with death before that, but the “this is all for you” moment sort of cemented it.
Have you ever watched "Mr. Nobody" (2009)? There's something about the scene where the main protagonist dies (the senior citizen living in the future) that resonates to the "haha, oh that's what it was all about!". Long movie but I enjoyed it.
You may have tried this already, and it may not work for you, but - a daily meditation practice, and general interest in Zen Buddhism, has helped me personally bring to my baseline reality some of the enlightenment I have felt during past psychedelic experiences.
Same. But despite years of practice, it took reading The Mind Illuminated and sitting 45-60min every single day for 4-6 months before some walls started really breaking down. I lost my social anxiety and a lot of fear in general. But just a word of a caution: serious meditation practice is NOT all sunshine and rainbows. Most people eventually encounter a "washing of sins" or "dark night of the soul" phase that can be pretty gnarly if you're not expecting it. I didn't think to would happen to me but it really knocked me on my ass when it happened.
Same! I had just started getting the phosphenes where I started seeing flashes of light that settled into this wonderful glow that seemed to come from inside my own head coinciding with this wonderful sense of true calm and peace. But then I started to get a bunch of weird head pressure/headaches which started between my eyes and then worked its way all around my head and stuff and eventually worked its way out in some weird emotional outbursts where it felt like I was vomiting up every stale, nuanced variant of sadness and anger I'd ever felt. It would come in waves, feel like I actually had to throw up, and then instead of vomit coming out, my face would contort into an expression of anguish or anger and the emotions would come out.
I'm a skeptics skeptic, but man did that shake my belief against all the various spiritual disciplines involving chi, and chakras and all that stuff I had considered total nonsense. Now I consider it at least to be some sort of poorly understood psychosomatic relationship deeply connecting the somatosensory and emotional parts of your brain.
Strange and powerful stuff. I did not anticipate that much depth to a meditation practice.
I still get a lot of weird muscle cramps in my shoulders when I start to turn on the continuous introspective awareness of my attention. It's nowhere near as bad as it was though. But I also don't sit for more than 30 min. anymore. The whole process was very cathartic but utterly bizarre.
Those faces you talked about helped me understand paychological projection, and how what i think someone did, is probably me blaming them for something they didnt do the way i understand it.
We are bizzar, and its actually really cool.
In vipassana, they tell you to ignore those faces, and scary things (also even the good) - or to Examine them in relaxed acceptance - eventually always going back to the breath, and it helpes the intensity “dissolve” and mellow out.
I found out that the twitches and pains i have are produced by a similar mechanism, and sitting long enough with my “fighting emotions” releases them and also releases the pain.
Its easier to drink a beer or smoke a joint, so i understand society’s choice.
Just want to add that I had a somewhat similar experience under the influence of THC (I had several edibles). I took away much the same 'revelation' of the true existential terror of 'oneness'. I felt like I was stuck in a 'perception loop' where I (and all of the world) was in an infinite self-referential loop and I was identical to that loop. The true terror came from me trying to 'break out' of the loop, and being unable to. I remember continually asking the question 'who perceives the perceiver?' and then reaching for an answer, only to be kicked 'up a level' in this recursive loop and starting the process all over again. Eventually I was overwhelmed by a Sisyphean resignation; I was condemned to exist in this loop for all time, continually confused, with nothing to ground 'myself' and in a constant battle against 'myself'.
Looking back, the feeling of being 'trapped' was somewhat reminiscent of my experience of 'sleep paralysis' (and also occurred as I was falling asleep) though on an ineffably more terrifying scale. I'm not sure if other people who've experienced bad trips on weed (that are hallucinogenic in nature) have felt something similar.
When I awoke the next day, I suddenly had the distinct realization that the existence of other living beings and their eventual death (as my own) was an immense gift. Eternal existence as some monistic 'God' suddenly appeared to be the ultimate hell.
Sounds like a very well put summary of lamrim. The book also tells how to break the loop: learn to focus thoughts, understand the concept of emptiness, analyze this concept with laser focused attention. So I've been wondering what happens when someone on lsd enters this highly-focused mode and directs attention at the concept of emptiness.
That’s what training Samādhi is, thats why Buddhists develop single pointed focus and use the breath as an object.
Very cool actually. There is one difference to the loops of our trips and the loops thats broken by conscious single pointed effort.
Our drug induced loops are, i find, broken by an emotional acceptance, while the loop broken by intense focus is that of the suffering of existing.
I tried to meditate on LSD and honestly i dont think we are capable of the feat of trying to focus while on it. Meditation sort if opens a door veeerrryyy slowly, and even that goes wrong sometimes, while i find that the experience of LSD is like a flood. Well beyond containing.
Maybe if a zen master tried it, but i suspect that a truely awake person wont be effected by LSD like we do, he would just shrug “ofcourse”
Why can't you do it under lsd? Is it the skill to think is somehow disabled or it's just a flood of distracting events that make it hard to stay focused?
Ah, interesting. I have not read much about Tibetan Buddhism. Is the loop you are referring to specifically one of 'subjectivity' (i.e., the self perceiving the self) or the broader loop of reincarnation? Any recommended introductory books on the topic for a philosophically-inclined spiritually-inexperienced Westerner?
The latter. The 4th volume of lamrim (by tsong-kha-pa) is a good summary with references to other books. That volume has been translated into English and us called "discerning the real" or something like that.
Tsongkhapa gives a reference to a more detailed "manual" called "the 10 levels of sravakas", but that book hasn't been translated, although Max Muller made some initial sketches.
I dont see the loop as hell, i accepted the loop as nature, so when i succumbed and accepted, i felt gratitude for having others around.
Maybe its the intensity of the dose, or our underlying temperaments. I tend to think its a matter of how much time you spend in the loop.
Ironically, i still feel very sorry for “god”. If we feel human feelings and human loneliness, a perfect all knowing thing can feel loneliness on a godly scale, and that’s beyond any horror we can imagine.
When I try and communicate to others this idea that death is actually truly a blessing, I generally begin by asking someone whether - if they really thought about it - they would choose to be immortal if given the option.
The classic idea of "heaven", from that point of view, takes on a different spin.
I don't know the dose and will ask, but your experience matches my only experience and I hadn't looked into it before. Everything resolved to one entity, which was almost nothingness at the same time. As a solipsist, the experience and events leading up to it, including the peers that appeared to be guides, remain with me today.
This was something I read leading up to it, http://www.galactanet.com/oneoff/theegg_mod.html
I actually think that’s very, very natural. The experience is also consistent with initiatory budhist awakenings, especially during death meditations.
I believe it’s how we approach our fear of death, and how we are able to let go of the wrongs done to us by fellow humans. Grief is a powerful feeling and im still so thankful.
not sure why you got downvoted, maybe because you didn't expand on his use of the word delusion. i actually think you're right in pointing that out -
i just wanted to comment on it too, that i wouldn't call it a delusion, and rather an exposition. even carl jung calls our intermediate awareness of the specific I experience as the ego conscienceness.
in that same breadth, the initial state isn't itself complete either, which is why jung talks about unification of self and ego into the transcendent self, which is niether driven by instinct (initial self) - or sensation (ego), but rather grace (holy direction of what's "right", or zen nature), which to my understanding is instinct applied to the larger self as the collective).
that kind of literature is pretty heavy, and interesting to read. tricky too, from a moral perspective.
it's a shame that we think that stuff we experience on drugs isn't real, just because we stop thinking about it once the "drugs" wear off.
The narrative that God is an eternal void that has become self aware and out of suffering decided to create/imagine a world of humans is not entirely implausible, but in the end it's just a story with no supporting evidence.
Consider for example Max Tegmarks idea that the universe is a mathematical structure in an infinite set of platonically real mathematical structures. I don't believe this view to be true either, but it certainly has a few arguments in its favor. And it's completely incompatible with the former narrative.
My point is that it's possible to conjure up different kinds of narratives to explain our existence. Believing in something just because you thought it up is the delusional part.
It seems relevant to add that I've become a Christian later in life. But that's largely because of things that have happened to me first hand, that have led me to believe in a divine savior at work.
i honestly just wanted to. i figured with a drug like LSD, i would get only one true first time.
by temperament, im a risk taker and generally intense, so it makes sense that i would think and do it like that.
maybe it helped that i looked up LSD toxicity, and didn't think 1500micrograms would kill me or make me go insane, though the latter was a very generous wager.
I can’t comment on the “first dose” part. But I personally find small doses of LSD far more speedy than larger doses. With larger doses it’s much easier to just lean back and enjoy the experience.
So if a stamp is dotted with 100µg - how much is on a ministamps? and he said 15 ministamps - so ... I mean ... is it that hard to just use SI units instead of "units" and "ministamps" - it seems this is a path to getting ripped off.
> legend goes
When I buy something I don't buy it based on legend...
"legend goes there used to be 10 foodles of potato in a bag of potatoes" ... tell me how many kilograms of potato I'm buying - don't start with some legend nonsens.
It’s a square of paper that may or may not have an illegal substance on it. How are you ever going to measure or test it. It’s a legend because it’s virtually unverifiable.
It seems fair to assume that the poster meant 1500ug, no other common unit would make any sense. (except maybe if they meant 150ug, but that’d be rather strange too)
is a "ministamp" the same slang as "tab"? 15 tabs of LSD at once is beyond anything I've ever heard of. One tab of what i would take in college would yield about a 12-15 hour high. Granted, LSD has decreased significantly in potency over the years where marijuana has increased.
it's just my own lingo. it does mean tab. they do look like little stamps to me. im not really a native english speaker or drug lingo expert so please allow my little idiosyncrasities to pass heh
To be honest, 1500ug could mean anything. The way street drugs are produced and sold, there's insane variance between what's "advertised" and what you actually get. Psychological damage wise, I actually wouldn't worry too much - at high doses your consciousness simply stops functioning.
Yes, I do realize that i was very lucky, and very foolish. I felt extreme grief also for what i have done, and felt i was being irresponsible towards my body as if it was a creature on its own.
I've did LSD quite a bit in college. When it goes right it's unlike anything you've ever experienced, when it goes wrong it's... unlike anything you've ever experienced.
For anyone thinking about trying it, i'm not going to say you should or should not. Just understand, you're dealing with something poorly understood and incomprehensibly powerful.
I think everyone should experience it in some way. I hate the hazy feeling of being "high"-high, but there's a depth to LSD which I find incredibly fascinating. I think the mystique and non-communicability of the experience add to that. Lots of oxymoronic phrases come to mind.
Thanks, anyone considering taking any drugs would do themselves a great service to look it up on erowid first at the least. It doesn't have all the information, but it has enough to make a decently informed decision.
My experience with drugs is limited to stuff like mdma and cocaine. I've always wanted to try a powerful psychoactive / hallucinogenic but I have issues with depression and I've been told if you have mental issues LSD and their like can make them much worse! But I've also heard they can be great for people with depression / self asteem issues.
Honestly, despite them being safer than other drugs with regard to things like addiction... They kinda scare me! In ways that harder drugs don't!
"I've been told if you have mental issues LSD and their like can make them much worse!"
That's the usual received wisdom. However, back in the old days there was some research in to treating various mental disorders with LSD. Here's an example of treatment of childhood schizophrenia with LSD and psilocybin: [1]
LSD has also been used to treat alcoholism (with the most famous case being that of Bill Wilson, the founder of Alcoholics Anonymous).
All of these studies were done decades ago, so I'm sure contemporary scientists would have lots of objections regarding their methodology, ethics, and so on. But the early studies do show promise, and I hope one day these avenues of research will be further explored with modern tools.
Even now there is ongoing research in to using psilocybin to treat depression and end-of-life anxiety in cancer patients.
Of course, it is important to note that such research was in to using psychedelics in a therapeutic setting, with trained, experienced therapists, and not just haphazardly taking psychedelics to "get high", "party" or "have a good time". The results of haphazard use without proper guidance, particularly for people with mental health issues, is likely to be far riskier.
To add to this, Michael Pollan (author of Omnivore's Dillema and a Berkeley/Harvard prof) recently published a lucid account of the history of psychedelics and 'psychotomimetics' (as they were originally named, owing to their perceived ability to mimic psychosic) with the title 'How to change your mind' [1].
In the book, Pollan details the recent renaissance in clinical psychedelic research to treat depression and help terminally-ill patients. The hope is that the 'noetic quality' of psychedelic trips--a term coined by William James in the context of religious experiences--can help pierce through the defences of one's ego. This 'noetic quality' refers to the perception that a psychedelic trip feels like 'total reality'; a series of 'revealed truths' rather than drug-induced illusions. This bears resemblance to revelatory experiences in religious contexts and the two are intimately tied in many Shamanic practices.
By inducing a long-lasting feeling of transcendence, researchers hope that psilocybin et al. can act as a more direct way to short-circuit destructive patterns of thought and help one come to terms with death (as opposed to, or in conjunction with, traditional therapy).
Pollan writes that in controlled settings with a trained guide, 'bad trips' are quite rare, though they can occur.
> I've been told if you have mental issues LSD and their like can make them much worse!
I'm not sure that's true, or at least not the way people say it. You can have a bad time, but it's all about the people you're with and the environment you put yourself in. If you take a small dose (You should), your "trip" will be very subtle but very noticeable to you.
Some examples of things I've noticed: You'll be compelled to smile at everything, but not in a bad way - it just seems unavoidable, but you're smiling because you want to rather than because you have to. I find that some people are listeners and some people are talkers, be that about nothing or anything - totally anecdotal, but I find that people who find knowledge for the sake of knowledge compelling tend to be in the latter. Ergo, the acid scene in Bandersnatch (the giggling is bang on, the visuals not so much).
Some advice for a good time (just treat as a fun day out rather than a life changing experience, expect nothing):
* Do it with someone - it makes people really honest and talkative, even if you don't know them that well (Obv. YMMV). And maintain some kind of isolation, i.e. you don't have to be alone but if you're new to it make sure you can maintain some separation (Or anonymity)
* Have something to do - e.g. watch. I think people have bad trips because they spiral rather than a sudden descent, so having something to follow other than your own thoughts is a help.
* Avoid authority - You'll think everyone knows you're high, they won't (Apart from the eyes...) - but that doesn't matter because it will feel like (say) someone is towering over your shoulder even if they're just having a look at your monitor.
> if you have mental issues LSD and their like can make them much worse
If you are predisposed to schizophrenia, LSD may trigger your break. Then again, a stressful life event may have done it anyway, so it's not like it caused the condition.
Some issues may get better(depression?), some may get worse(anxiety?). We really don't have enough data to make recommendations on who should or should not do psychedelics. My personal experience was that I had a significant worsening of symptoms for several years(panic attacks, anxiety, bipolar swings). If I could rewind time and never do psychedelics, I would avoid them. However, now that I've done them more and have experience with how they affect me, I'm looking forward to doing them again when I'm retired and have time to recover.
Totally anecdotal but weed had sent me to psychosis to 3 times out of the 10 smoking sessions. I did it again because everyone were, not even peer pressure, but it was so common. With LSD I didn't have any problems, quite opposite, but because I've heard weed being preached by everyone as safe miracle I don't want to go to same route with lsd. It really differs so much from person to person.
I've been on some pretty terrible "trips" (if you can call them that) while smoking weed. I don't know if I can call them hallucinations, but I definitely felt like I couldn't tell whether something I imagined actually happened or not and was just general confused and anxious. I mean, there have been the times where I've smoked and enjoyed it, but I now always have this lingering anxiety when I do that I might fall into that type of bad trip. This is the main reason I'm very cautious about LSD - I fear what a bad acid trip could end up like.
Hmm, I will say that usage indoors vs outdoors will result in drastically different experiences, and so you should be careful in evaluating anecdata.
In regards to "making x worse", every trip I've done only seems to amplify whatever thoughts are in my mind. If you're alone, and you start thinking about something that depresses you, you will almost certainly be in a bad place. If you force yourself (/have a friend or two) to explore your thoughts positively, you won't. That applies to indoor trips. Outdoor trips are dominated by your inner feelings about the outdoors. For instance, if you get anxious in the woods sober, tripping outdoors will probably be a bad time. Personally I get overwhelmed by how awesome nature is, so I've never had a bad experience outdoors.
Generally I ended up confronting something in my thoughts every time (anxiety, major decisions, relationships, etc) and seriously appreciated lsd for it. Even a "bad trip" gave me some nice insights.
If you're worried about "bad trips" there are generally two kinds.
1. You realize you don't want to be tripping at some point during the trip, overwhelmed by the high/new perspective. Every time I tripped with someone for their first time, they encountered this to some degree. You have to psychologically prepare to spend ~12 hours in an altered psyche.
2. Staring into the abyss. Having dark thoughts that spiral into more negative thoughts, etc. Usually friends can help here, but ultimately this varies a lot between people. I've been with people where this happened, but I've never gone through anything I couldn't easily talk myself back out of. They all came back to normal, but for some amount of time they each silently freaked out in a corner or similar. Pretty easy to spot if you have a "guide" to trip with. A friend who's done it a few times works best in my opinion, but many people choose a sober trip sitter.
If you have specific questions, I may be able to answer them. I've done lsd probably 3 dozen times, in many different environments.
Maybe look in to psilocybin mushrooms? I’ve heard they are very helpful for people with depression, but not good for people with schizophrenia.
I found this podcast to be a great fact based overview of the latest research on psychedelic therapy. The results from major research institutions are promising, though there is less research on use outside of a research institution.
Well certainly the podcast I mentioned did cover cases where large doses helped individuals with depression. Microdosing can be good, but my understanding is that regular or high doses have their use cases for depression as well.
> I've been told if you have mental issues LSD and their like can make them much worse!
I'm not sure why you just believe what people tells you when it comes to illicit drugs. I would advise you ask for sources next time. Bringing hearsay to a conversation about something as serious as illicit drugs seems like it is not a good idea.
> 21,967 respondents (13.4% weighted) reported lifetime psychedelic use. There were no significant associations between lifetime use of any psychedelics, lifetime use of specific psychedelics (LSD, psilocybin, mescaline, peyote), or past year use of LSD and increased rate of any of the mental health outcomes. Rather, in several cases psychedelic use was associated with lower rate of mental health problems.
> The present findings reinforce the view that psychedelics elicit psychosis-like symptoms acutely yet improve psychological wellbeing in the mid to long term. It is proposed that acute alterations in mood are secondary to a more fundamental modulation in the quality of cognition, and that increased cognitive flexibility subsequent to serotonin 2A receptor (5-HT2AR) stimulation promotes emotional lability during intoxication and leaves a residue of ‘loosened cognition’ in the mid to long term that is conducive to improved psychological wellbeing.
To whomever removed my previous comment: So word of mouth is good enough for guidelines on using illicit drugs but not good enough for religious teachings?
Generally, you need a guide. Someone more experienced who can spot things going wrong and bring you back. Something as simple being asked your name can make all the difference in the world. An experienced guide can help you through the effects and keep it on a peaceful path.
> Try vipassana before LSD, it will help. It will kick ur ass, but youll heal some deep seated issues.
Not necessarily. While rare I've seen 2 psychotics breaks (requiring hospitalization) occur on meditation retreats -- 1 a ten-day Vipasana retreat; the other a 7-day Zen retreat.
Obviously meditation and intensive retreats can be effective , much like deep substance induced psychedilc experiences, but there are no guarantees, so blanket statements like, "do X, it worked for me" may unintentionally send one down the road to hell despite your good intentions :)
p.s. meditation, particularly of the <= 1 hour variety, is almost certainly safe for everyone; it's the intensive retreats and large dose induced psychedelic psychosis that impose a much greater risk.
>Experiments on mice with radioactively labeled LSD have established that intravenously injected LSD disappeared down to a small vestige, very rapidly from the bloodstream and was distributed throughout the organism. Unexpectedly, the lowest concentration is found in the brain. It is concentrated here in certain centers of the midbrain that play a role in the regulation of emotion. Such findings give indications as to the localization of certain psychic functions in the brain.
>Note: LSD, My Problem Child appears in this library under the "Fair Use" rulings
regarding the 1976 Copyright Act for NON-profit academic, research, and
general information purposes. Readers requiring a permanent copy of
LSD, My Problem Child for their library are advised to
purchase it from their book supplier.
I wrote a comment here attempting to appeal to a specific segment of Anglo-American intelligence and knowledge. I actually expected to receive upvotes, social currency, and acceptance, but instead the opposite effect occurred. As a result of having processed the event after a long amount of time, I decided to apologize for any disruption of intended human activity and for my presumptions: I apologize for any disruption of intended human activity and for my presumptions. I promise to do better next time as I learn to interact with your valuable Hacker News society and culture.
My first experience was ... very holy. Time stopped. I had hallucinations of spider webs weaved into my visual space, and it mixed with sunlight. I felt i was eternal.
I understood what love is, and what grief is, and why (bear with me now ..) if god would to exist, he would have been the loneliest thing, and in his grief and loneliness, he gave birth to otherness, and here we are. I was my own mother, i was my own father, i was everything that ever was, and i did it all because i had one moment of terrorizing loneliness that i (as god) couldn’t take.
It was all for me, a show i put on to entertain my eternal self, i thought about death and i felt immense gratitude, and i suddenly realized how scared everyone else must really be ... i felt extreme grief and love for my parents.
My other experiments, at much lower doses just made me feel anxious. I watched the joker on 400 units, and I nearly cried. it was extremely intense and jarring. I generally find that LSD will amplify your base emotions, sort of like turning a volume dial to max.
It’s a drug to be respected, the kinds of convictions it can generate in the human mind are intense and the impression they leave is significant.
Its definitely not something i would lightly take, or take often, but am thankful for trying.