It changed me, in very mild and i would claim beautiful ways. I let go of intellect and just accept the emotion as something that i naturally generate, like the way a tree grows.
Edit; it occured to me that i didn't answer your main question.
I actually dont see a disconnect between normal thought and holy thought.
I imagine i will feel this loneliness and terror and grief and deep sadness at the time of death, and i felt how it might resolve, and it brings a certain joy and a “oh, really? This is actually what it’s about?” And the fear and terror slowly subside into magical relaxation.
So im ok with death, i was ok with death before that, but the “this is all for you” moment sort of cemented it.
Have you ever watched "Mr. Nobody" (2009)? There's something about the scene where the main protagonist dies (the senior citizen living in the future) that resonates to the "haha, oh that's what it was all about!". Long movie but I enjoyed it.
Edit; it occured to me that i didn't answer your main question.
I actually dont see a disconnect between normal thought and holy thought.
I imagine i will feel this loneliness and terror and grief and deep sadness at the time of death, and i felt how it might resolve, and it brings a certain joy and a “oh, really? This is actually what it’s about?” And the fear and terror slowly subside into magical relaxation.
So im ok with death, i was ok with death before that, but the “this is all for you” moment sort of cemented it.