If that was true, then literally everyone would be fat in your area. You can learn to cook, you have room for bodyweight exercises. You don't need equipment to feel really sore the next day! It's not going to be easy, it will be miserably hard, but it is possible.

It also doesn't address the larger point that _it doesn't have to be this hard_.

For example, only drink water. It’s all the body needs for hydration anyways. No soda, diet soda, alcohol, slurpees, etc. Black coffee if you enjoy a cuppa in the morning, no sugar. (Good black coffee is such a joy)

Then set a rule about only eating 3 meals a day, however you define meal. No snacks in between.

Losing weight, even accounting for hormones, really is a diet thing. Exercise daily burns like… 100-300 calories, which is a small fraction of basal metabolic rate for a grown human.

Coming from a family of alcoholics, I'm also very familiar with the moral judgment issue with addiction. It _must_ be a lack of control that makes that man drink, etc. There's been quite a lot of success destigmatizing alcohol addiction in the last half century, so it's even more stark to see exactly the same thing play out with so many conversations about food and weight. It _must_ be that fat man's lack of control that makes him fat. Often it is. But there are so, so many other factors. I actually think that's part of OP's larger point.

I focused on the water thing because it is so, so easy to smash a 20oz coke without thinking about it, twice a day even. I’m sure I don’t need to inform you about the nutritional information of coke, but 40oz a day negates any kind of diet or exercise two-fold.

I also made the point about 3 meals completely because of metabolism and the bad effects of eating only once a day. There is however value in skipping breakfast and only eating lunch and dinner, but not if you just make up for breakfast with the other two meals.

The world isn’t black and white, absolutism is never a good thing unless you’re designing digital circuits or some other “there is no other choice but binary” but there already is an exception to your rule.

Keep an open mind. You sound like you’ve talked yourself out of lots of things and seem to have accepted defeat and blamed your circumstances. Coming from the same background as you I would encourage you to at least admit to yourself the things you already know and excuse away. When I finally had that moment it was a game changer.

My spouse and I work full time with 3 kids between ages 3-11. We are very busy, all the time. We have both lost a noticeable amount of weight in the past 6 months following these kinds of “rules” if you will.

People who says they’re too busy are sadly fooling themselves.

We don’t even exercise! Well, maybe at night sometimes…

GP, try climbing or martial arts - indoor air conditioned activities that have much less toxic culture and are much more mentally engaging.

Work out in the early morning or late evening?

> I hate gyms and toxic gym culture

Stop hating gyms. Stop over-analyzing "toxic gym culture". Get off social media because that's the only place this exists. Nobody in the gym cares about you or what you're doing as long as you aren't harming someone else, breaking equipment, etc.

> I have a quaint bungalow that doesn't have space for equipment

Give Crossfit Linchpin a try - they have 5 workouts/week including "no equipment" workouts.

> I live in a country that prioritizes fast, processed, sugary foods, etc

Yes but you don't have to prioritize those foods.

> I work an intense job that keeps me focused for hours at a time

This is fair. We all unfortunately have to deal with this in some fashion, but even then you can probably find 15 minutes/day to exercise in a way that you enjoy, if you want to.

> Much like fighting climate change, placing all the responsibility on the end user without changing some of the social conditions is a flawed approach

Our environments shape us. For sure. If you are surrounded by a bunch of obese people encouraging you to drink milkshakes all day and making fun of you for working out, that's going to be hard to overcome! But just like climate change, you can't control these social conditions, or at least you can't have much of an effect. But you can make a difference in your own life according to your own principles. Often times it just means being "less bad" instead of giving up.

Blaming corporations or the built environment is a convenient excuse you can use again and again and never have to overcome.

Completely agree. I may nitpick a few of your responses, but I'm not saying that any of the factors I named make health impossible, only that it's exponentially more difficult because of the larger social context. And, similarly, I'm not saying the larger social context makes it impossible, but that it makes it _much_ harder than it needs to be for many people. (As evidence, I live in an area with very high obesity rates.)

I sort of knew when I posted that here, in particular, that the reaction would be to focus on the individual, because, well, HN. It's kind of a thing here. I'm also fascinated by the reaction that I must be fattie fat man who wants to make excuses and wait for others to fix my problem because I questioned whether mental fortitude is enough. The reality is that I was merely noting that there are larger contextual challenges that, taken together, make any individual's journey needlessly, inescapably harder than it should be.

Why is this fascinating when you both offered up a litany of excuses and then went on to say:

> Much like fighting climate change, placing all the responsibility on the end user without changing some of the social conditions is a flawed approach, even if there are some things individuals can do to help

Who is changing some of the societal conditions here? You or someone else?

When I wrote my post I was responding to you but also hoping others would see that post and if they had the same challenge that you mentioned that they would find some encouragement. It's unfortunate (maybe not? [1]) but our societal expectations around fitness can cause people pretty extensive anguish and I think it's important to just say, there are no reasons or excuses for me not to work out or go to a gym - it's your life and you decide that, nobody else. BUT if you don't want to go you don't have to and you don't need to feel bad about that either. Making up excuses to mask your lack of desire is an unnecessary exercise in self-deception.

I think one of the greatest problems in America, and one of the sources of many of our downstream problems, is that we build places where local businesses can't compete, people can't walk anywhere, and they're designed for the lifestyle of the automobile instead of the American Citizen. Highlighting the scenario you find yourself in (or was bringing to the discussion as an example) I think is yet another downstream effect of cars cars cars at all costs.

[1] It's probably good overall that we are so focused as a society on health and fitness. We do have a lot of overweight folks which is bad for social health but we also have a very great fitness culture that I think is arguably unmatched in the world.

Motivation for gym work can be a huge problem; what suggestions do people have for that?

I agree with your general suggestion though too. Though from the sound of the scenario the OP was describing there probably aren't many neighborhood gyms. But hey maybe the OP or someone in that scenario could start a friendly gym?

Try to do Saitama's training (from anime One Punch Man, just a tongue-in-cheek way to mean do lots of push-ups and squats) and afterwards tell me you don't feel like you've done some serious exercise!

I just don’t get the appeal of throwing my hands up and going, “Yep, somebody needs to care more about me than I care about me.”

I don't, for the record, disagree with much OP's point, though I do have some misgivings about "food addiction" being explanation for everyone's struggle with weight (I don't think that's his point, really, but it's clearly what his experience has been and it's the focus of the piece). His approach mirrors my own (successful) approach with any of a number of challenges. I just question the effectiveness as a complete solution.

It is also possible to have enough mental fortitude to read beyond the first item in a list that you yourself wrote about an hour ago.

Yes, you can’t mental fortitude yourself out of every situation. But you can be committed to change and figure things out.

Or you can just say “Nah, I’ll let somebody else fix things for me. I’m sure I’m high on their list of priorities.”

Who is changing some of the societal conditions here? You or someone else?

You also started your comment with a list of individual excuses.

You may not have said “4” but you said “2+2” and it’s not that big of a leap to make.

It's rarely "This is really hard and I doubt I have it in me right now" or some other honest answer.

Yes, positivity is essential, and negative thinking is also a trap, but this "Believe In Yourself!" and "Follow Your Passion!" is rotten fruit from the $16 self-help bookshelf in the public library.

But no, that is not the only thing that works. If anyone despairs or believes such as this, then refer back to "cult of self" we're trapped in.

I get that you can hope someone else helps you or that circumstances change on their own.

But again while you’re sitting around waiting, shouldn’t you exhaust the options that you control?

I don’t get how trying to improve your life yourself is a “cult of self” or being portrayed as a bad thing.

* “It’s unpleasantly hot,” but that is kind of irrelevant. Unpleasantly cold could be a deterrent. I live in a climate that changes wildly with the seasons, which is annoying, because I have to have different routines depending on the time of year. There are few climatically perfect situations.

* “I hate gyms,” but maybe it’s certain aspects of gyms, or you had some bad experiences at a gym.

* “I have a quaint bungalow that doesn’t have space for equipment,” but you don’t have to have a lot of equipment. All you need are a few dumbbells, and a treadmill is nice but also very much not required.

* “I work an intense job,” but so do many people who find time to work out. Things like standing desks help, walking during meetings, finding the time during lunch, before work or after work. And sometimes time-intensive jobs help distract people from eating, which can be a useful tactic. Time management is hard, but it’s not impossible. And if your job sucks… well, that’s an entirely different conversation.

* “I live in a country that prioritizes fast, processed, sugary foods,” but most countries do. Cheap soda, cheap fast food, grab and go snacks… absolutely! All of this makes eating healthily difficult. What you’ll need to do is learn how to cook for yourself. It’s an incredibly important skill that will help considerably.

* “Responsibility is on the end user,” and yes, it sure is! But you can get help. You are not alone! There are resources — support groups, diet and fitness programs, indoor and outdoor activity groups, nutrition, fitness, and life coaching.

* “It won’t be enough in the face of it simply being difficult to find time, space, or money,” but that’s what you have decided to tell yourself. In reality, you don’t need a lot of time, space, or money. If you have more, sure, it’s easier. But it’s more doable than you are giving yourself credit.

I bet not. Sure it is more difficult for some people than others, but what would be the alternative ? Ban or regulate fast food ?

I want to be able to have a guilty pleasure once in a while, I am careful with what I eat in general. Why should I be deprived of that ?

I honestly don't know how I feel about things like sugary drink bans. Objectively they're part of the problem, but I feel like emphasizing urban rather than suburban development would be a more effective tool. A bit hard to put the genie back in the bottle where I live (the next county over has 0% undeveloped land, and most of it is suburbs). I would rather destroy the market for things than ban the thing. Personal lifestyle changes play a role in that, as others in this thread have gleefully noted, but health education does too. Vice taxes are probably one solution, but only if the money is actually going to be used for effective programs, which is almost certainly not going to happen in the political environment where I live.

Losing weight is all about removing things from your diet. It’s accessible to anyone if they are willing to tolerate a little hunger.

This isn't what you want to hear, but "mental fortitude, discipline, self-honesty, commitment to change, and persistence" are not things that are supposed to be defeated by "it simply being difficult." In fact, some of them (especially "fortitude" and "commitment") strongly imply that the circumstances in which they are applied should be difficult.

If you're somewhere hot and humid (I used to live in Florida, so I understand) or have a job that keeps you in a chair all day, go for long walks around four or five in the morning: you'll avoid the heat and feel ready for your morning work.

If you hate toxic gym culture, look into different gym cultures. The US gym chain "Planet Fitness" makes a big deal about explicitly rejecting gym-bro culture in order to foster a more inclusive environment.

Consider, however, that gym-bro culture might exist for a reason other than simple jackassery: people stick with something difficult when they undertake it with friends, and they have more fun doing boring things when they do them with friends. If you start going to a gym with a friend or group of friends, you might find that you enjoy it more and that the difficulties you describe become easier.

What is "toxic gym culture" though? I've been to gyms off and on for months at a time in different cities (and countries) and all I see are people trying to become stronger, or lose weight, usually with headphones on minding their own business.