I use parner for non-gender reasons:

- You might not know their status (married? Dating?) and the phrase “significant other” is clunky

- for grown adults, terms like boyfriend/girlfriend can come off as a little dismissive or juvenile

I've been a grown adult for a long time and still use boyfriend/girlfriend. This obsession with absolute correctness is probably why we are so miserable all the time.

To me it's simple

1. Married -> Husband/Wife

2. Dating -> Girlfriend/Boyfriend

3. Middle Ground -> Fiance/fiancee

I've yet to see a case this doesn't cover so "partner" seems like a solution looking for a problem.

So If you meet a couple and don’t know if they’re married or dating, you just decide to call them fiance/fiancee?

That’s like thinking “I can just replace null with 0 or empty string. Means the same thing”

"Fiance/fiancee" is not a middle-ground, it means you have proposed and your partner has agreed to marriage.

There are plenty of couples who may as well be married, but choose not to participate in that social construct.

Your comment about correctness is a bit ironic in context however.

I wonder why you find the term "partner" insufferable? As a Midwesterner comfortable with "you guys," I refer to my partner as my partner because it feels far more appropriate after dating for 7 years than "girlfriend." I also don't care whether others assume I am straight or gay.