I don't know you at all, so it's hard to really give advice. From my experience though, most tech-industry men who can't find a date have some combination of these problems:
* obsessively interested in/talking about tech or related "geek topics" above all other things (imagine you had a lawyer friend who talked of nothing but legal arcana, rumors about SCOTUS clerks, etc - it comes across as boring, myopic and self-involved)
* not good at listening and engaging with someone about their interests, making the right kind of eye contact, paying attention to subtle body language/tone of voice, understanding collaborative decision-making (wanna stop by my place?), etc.
* physical/life-upkeep stuff (including parent), not knowing how to cook food/play music/dance/enjoy shared physical activity
Basically, the things human beings connect on, especially in regards to a romantic connection, are innate to the human experience. These romantic connections have been happening since before humans even had language or civilization. It's about experiencing in some sense a shared reality with another being.
Information technology is like this telescoping pyramid of abstraction built upon itself, and people who are deep experts in tech tend to get lost in that and other worlds of abstractions, replacing the territory with the map, and losing the ability to have a real shared, authentic, embodied experience with another person.
One clue is you can have that experience with barely a word spoken - the number of relationships that began with little more than dancing and eye contact has got to be astonishing.
MDMA, Bikram Yoga, dance lessons, start a garden, volunteer at some charity or activist groups where you'll work with other people, rock climbing, get a dog ... something along those lines should help, assuming you actually do it authentically, not for the sake of logging it in HealthKit ;)
Huh. I can't guess what might be wrong from this much information. A lack of actual attempts was going to be my guess but clearly that's not the problem. I know some fairly homely folks who have managed to get plenty of dates.
