Sorry to hear about your depression, and I hope that you pull out of it ok. Here are my thoughts on it, for what they're worth to you.
I've suffered from depression for most of my life, so I've spent a great deal of time thinking about it, 'Why me? Why do I feel this way?' I have tried to 'cure' it with therapy (CBT). I've tried to cure it by adjusting the chemicals in my brain with medications. Neither of these have worked well, or at least they have been temporary fixes.
After 30 years or so, I've discovered a much simpler approach: remove all of the things in one's life that doesn't 'seem' right or 'feel' right. Like any other disease (take diabetes, for example) some people have a genetic predisposition for it. But, in many cases, the odds of being affected is a combination of both one's genetics and environment. I try to solve my depression by thinking similarly. That is, awareness and sensitivity to one's environment are factors in the disease for those with a natural disposition for these traits.
Perhaps the mushroom experience has opened your brain to new insights and awareness, and these are now negatively affecting you?
I suggest trying CBT and medications: they're the right things to do, medically. But, concurrently, try to start removing things from your life, even if temporarily. It's can be difficult process to remove from one's life the things that cause disease because they're often enjoyable (bacon to a heart disease sufferer). In the case of depression, it may mean removing things that help define one's identity. Perhaps it means quitting jobs, selling houses, getting divorce, abandoning friends, changing habits, changing patterns of thought, solving addictions, destroying routines.
In the end, all I can give you is anecdote, but if the depression remains or gets worse, it's at least worth a shot.
Edit:
I'm suggesting taking a systematic and rational approach for finding the environmental factors. I'm not suggesting that anyone go out and do these things without thought, wholesale, on impulse. But, unless the ratio of positive to negative is above 1, they're at least things to consider changing. It's up to each person to determine what these things could be.
>Often it means quitting jobs, selling houses, getting divorce, abandoning friends, changing habits, changing patterns of thought, solving addictions, destroying routines.
Some of this sounds like mania to me. Perhaps unsurprisingly, since mania is seen (by Melanie Klein for example) as a defense mechanism against depression.
edit: I understand your point, didn't mean to jump to conclusions.
> Perhaps it means quitting jobs, selling houses, getting divorce, abandoning friends, changing habits, changing patterns of thought, solving addictions, destroying routines.
I agree with all of these except divorce. While it is true that you want to make changes that benefit your own life, you don't want to make changes that also ruin someone else's.
I've suffered from depression for most of my life, so I've spent a great deal of time thinking about it, 'Why me? Why do I feel this way?' I have tried to 'cure' it with therapy (CBT). I've tried to cure it by adjusting the chemicals in my brain with medications. Neither of these have worked well, or at least they have been temporary fixes.
After 30 years or so, I've discovered a much simpler approach: remove all of the things in one's life that doesn't 'seem' right or 'feel' right. Like any other disease (take diabetes, for example) some people have a genetic predisposition for it. But, in many cases, the odds of being affected is a combination of both one's genetics and environment. I try to solve my depression by thinking similarly. That is, awareness and sensitivity to one's environment are factors in the disease for those with a natural disposition for these traits.
Perhaps the mushroom experience has opened your brain to new insights and awareness, and these are now negatively affecting you?
I suggest trying CBT and medications: they're the right things to do, medically. But, concurrently, try to start removing things from your life, even if temporarily. It's can be difficult process to remove from one's life the things that cause disease because they're often enjoyable (bacon to a heart disease sufferer). In the case of depression, it may mean removing things that help define one's identity. Perhaps it means quitting jobs, selling houses, getting divorce, abandoning friends, changing habits, changing patterns of thought, solving addictions, destroying routines.
In the end, all I can give you is anecdote, but if the depression remains or gets worse, it's at least worth a shot.
Edit:
I'm suggesting taking a systematic and rational approach for finding the environmental factors. I'm not suggesting that anyone go out and do these things without thought, wholesale, on impulse. But, unless the ratio of positive to negative is above 1, they're at least things to consider changing. It's up to each person to determine what these things could be.