"at least part of the time" tends to mean every week so you still have to relocate your family or only visit them infrequently

Exactly, which is why it gives you a leg up on everyone who isn't willing to live in a major metro.

If you're raising kids, you probably want this anyway. What kind of schools and jobs are they going to be able to pursue without moving far away otherwise? What kind of hospital systems will you and your elder parents be able to access as you grow old otherwise?

I've come to peace with the fact that major metros have significant economic gravity for anyone with a long term time horizon and a focus on family.

Well, currently I'm in a major metro with good schools and hospitals, big houses for cheap next to modern transit, where my wife does not get regularly assaulted whenever she goes outside. The pay is several times higher in major metros with bad schools and hospitals, tiny shoebox apartments where the only ISP is the local cable monopoly, where my wife has been regularly assaulted whenever she went outside, and where I will probably get to have a favorite window glass shop again.

Sounds like you're in a good place then. If you have all that, you don't need high pay. You just need pay.