Maybe you've been through all your options, so excuse me if I'm being unhelpful or ignorant. But have you tried looking for a roommate(s)? Potentially you wouldn't even need to be on a lease that way, and you might make some good social connections. Admittedly, I'm 50+ and not up on the scene for 20-somethings just starting out. But back when that was me I moved to NYC and the Village Voice (newspaper) was full of ads for roommates. That was how many young people expected to live, i.e., in small apartment shared with others. There's nothing wrong with that, it can even be fun; you're young, enjoy it. Isn't this still a common thing in high rent urban areas, the natural way of 20-something living?
The problem is that in many urban areas especially in CA, there aren’t many viable housing options for those who are mid career and want to live alone or start a family. “Just get some roommates, we did that when I was young” can be a little condescending to a 35 year old someone making 150k/year.
Roommates are definitely an option, and I did that for a few years when first moving out here. But I'm pushing 30 now and totally over that lifestyle. It makes me sad to realize this is probably the only realistic option for sticking around long term though.
>Having roommates in your 30s isn't that weird in LA, SF, and NYC.
Agreed, but I think it's weird that that isn't weird. Our parents' generation were able to buy a home, save for retirement, and raise a family on one person's income. Now we sign over half our monthly income to a landlord, and spend the rest on Avocado Toast.
My generation is probably the same as your parents, and even then there certainly weren't many one-income homes doing those things in NYC, SF, or LA. Also, I would say that this generation has gotten used to larger homes and more luxury (e.g., lots of bathrooms). These things simply weren't as normal thirty years ago. (It's the same with cars, which are all bigger and have more luxuries than cars of thirty years ago. Just compare a current Honda Civic with a Civic of 1987.)
The sort of lifestyle you describe is still easily available to two-income families, at least, (maybe one-and-a-half) in most mid-sized cities even in many larger cities. Those cities are mostly great for raising a family. For a single person, often not so much.
At that age peoples' roommates are usually their spouse and their children. If they need to have roommates in addition to those, that is a big problem because with current trends it won't take much discouragement from having children to result in a declining population.
