Both of these things are profoundly important points. The first being that you cannot "have it all" and the second that putting the expectation out there that you should be a "rockstar" when it comes to open source code encourages unwise choices.

One of the things I noticed at Sun early on it its life were that there were "types" of folks, people who were so invested in their work lives that they had no family (or in many cases lost their family) and people who balanced out family with work. Folks in the latter camp invariably were less well rewarded than those in the former camp. I found myself slipping into that "work is everything camp" and consciously chose not to go there, knowing it would limit the eventual arc of my career. I have never regretted that choice and am still happily married with kids I know and who know me, long after Sun has faded into history.

It was a tough call to make. I talked it over with my wife (we were thinking about kids but didn't have any yet).