My last biggie voyage also involved an anointing with Abramelin oil, and I was trying to focus on a copy of the Hermit card from a Tarot deck. By this time I was very deep into using DMT as a meditation tool, and on this occasion I was really pushing my luck.
I sat on the back deck of a cousin's cabin, fairly removed from the modern world, and a massive electrical storm was slowly gathering through the evening. For most folks I've spoken with DMT trips last 10 to 15 minutes, but for me they last hours. I'm still unsure as to whether this was due to a stronger variety of crystal we were growing, or because I was giving myself to it that much more.
Suffice to say, on that night the world around me became pulsating molecules, everything connected like neon blueprints going 3-D and contorting and revolving around themselves, extending into and beyond everything. The raindrops were merely pulses, the colors like waves flowing softly around me. It grew to be a violent storm, but the passivity I felt, especially from the benevolence of the bright Felix-the-Cat-like elves whose eyes would at times appear in the arrangements of atoms about me...I knew that no matter what happened around me, I had a strong center, strong enough to enable my survival of virtually anything. I was the only stillness in the universe.
It sounds silly, I'm sure, but I have known fear by no means and in no circumstances since that night, almost two years ago. Religion strengthens the soul for some. DMT reinforced my spine, and my faith in myself.
Doesn't sound silly to me. If you like DMT and it lasts longer for you, have you tried acid too? Can be much milder than DMT, but much longer trips. Personally when I smoke DMT (well, changa) it lasts 5-15min so I enjoy it as an experience, but doesn't let me really do any interesting thinking like LSD does. That said, I've only tried DMT a few times (haven't "broken through" yet), but do have a couple of grams waiting for me when I can get somewhere to pick it up...
I tried quite a lot of acid in my New England college days. I did have some curious times, but it just doesn't compare to DMT. I am the first to say that I do not think tripping is for everyone, and I have had some bad acid trips (which were probably even more informative than the good ones), but my times with DMT really made me rethink the silliness of "spirituality without religion". I think even in my hardest acid trips, somewhere in my grey matter I stayed aware that it was ultimately senses being toyed with. DMT felt like something was talking back, even though the five sense barely applied.
I heard an intelligent music reviewer say once how the greatest music is difficult to quickly describe in words. That's DMT in a nutshell.
All said, I hope you do "break through" someday. It is nothing but beautiful and inspiring, mindfuck or no mindfuck.
I just picked up my changa, smoked a little in a spliff but didn't do much (very, very wrong setting, wasn't expecting much - am away from home and was outside). Thinking of getting a bong in the morning, though as I've quit weed and soon will be living somewhere I can't smoke indoors feels like a slightly annoying cost.. Either way, shall be trying to break through when I get home tomorrow night or Saturday - have got equivalent to 1g of pure dmt (2g changa) ready to play with :)
