I agree that playing to win isn't the right approach to have fun at bowling with new friends. I still find that's it's hard to care about the game (to enjoy your own good moves), and then at the same time not care about who's winning.

I guess what I'm saying is that it seems like we're playing bowling because of tradition. Someone could come up with a better-designed game, maybe involving pins and balls, played in a bowling alley. People would still enjoy feeling like they're going out and having fun, but they'd be playing a more compelling version of bowling.