I deliberately leave that question unanswered when I'm speaking to groups I don't know personally (such as HN). When I'm talking about my significant other, I refer to them as my significant other. Not my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband. In this day and age, that really only matters when you're speaking about legal rights as recognized by the state. The gender or legal status of the person I love doesn't generally make one bit of difference.

On the other hand, my dad is a business owner and I've had people assume he was gay when I referred to his co-owner as "his partner, Jeff".