I never put what you just described into words. I follow the same thought and mode processes. As of late, I feel the company is making (indirectly due to their priority of constraints) to work in Mode 2 for (VeryImportantAppForCustomer) and it's a painful internal conflict. How do you cope or handle such situations?
(This is not a snarky answer, but the truth, for me and many of my contemporaries. The internal conflicts caused by the irrationality of others can eat you alive, but only if you let them. OTOH, whenever I get paid, I realize how much harder my father and grandfathers worked for so much less and thank my lucky stars. I'm not saying that this is ideal, but it works. Another great strategy is to go home and build something for myself in Mode 1.)
I'm still working on this problem myself, but we can get some answers from the assumptions in the question:
1. Don't link perfection and pride so strongly. Find ways to be proud of other things about your work besides "perfection." Many of us are perfectionists or recovering perfectionists, and we aren't sure what's ok to be proud of besides an A+ or brushing against some platonic ideal. Pride is individual and has to do with our identity, so find what resonates with you. Try being proud of: just doing the work -- productivity, reliability, consistency, quantity; particular skills or expertise; specific aspects of quality that you personally value; the end product and the good it will do or who it will please. I draw inspiration from creative professionals (writers, artists, performers) who have strong process and show up each day to face the blank page. I like to create delightful and visually beautiful things. If you are too egoistic about your work or your job just isn't a good fit for the kind of work you are proud to do, you may need to find another job, but usually you can go far by getting in touch with what things that make you feel good about the work you do and desensitizing yourself to "flaws" by putting them in perspective. "I make perfect things" is a lame identity; dig out a better sentence for yourself.
2. "Just get it done" and then do look at it ever again! Be comfortable writing first drafts. Start early and revise. Or, save some improvements for the next release. Be aware of acceptable flaws in your software without having to compulsively fix them.
If you are working on a team, try to align your goals with theirs and accept the constraints that come from working with other people. It's also ok to have your own goals that no one else shares or supports. Expect resistance, but if you believe in it and can muster the confidence and courage, do it anyway, and people will respect you later.
Currently, I believe that the primary cause of this mode1/mode2 divide is perfectionism fueled by fear and internal resistance. As perfectionists, often the level or type of "quality" we insist on, which may be contrary to the expectations of all around us, just isn't reasonable, or isn't compatible with shipping on time or achieving our greater personal or professional goals. Or, it may be an achievable level of quality for us, but we just aren't good at sitting down and achieving it. We put off the tough design questions or stifle the very creativity we need to meet our own standard.
Another random tip: Find small ways to be creative in your work even if they don't matter to anyone else.
When all else fails, invoke the "it's just a job" frame as necessary, have a beer and don't worry about it. :)
