So we end up with a fairly bizarre situation: a country that is in crisis about how to take care of retirees, and also faces the challenge of middle class couples not wanting to have children because of, among other things, the enormous costs of child care. I feel like one problem is a built in solution to the other problem
As someone who has spent a lot of time thinking about this, I feel that the status quo will be remembered as a peculiar little historical blip.
It is so outrageous to me that my kids' grandparents are lonely as heck wasting away in their 55 & older retirement community in an inhospitable desert wasteland at the same time I have spent literally tens of thousands of dollars on child care. Whenever I see other grandparents actively grandparenting, I am filled with jealous resentment.
You are absolutely right, I plan to move my parents in when I start having kids. I still remember going to one of grandparents house everyday after elementary and middle school.
I'm mexican so it's normal to have multi-generational homes but I always wondered why white people don't do this more.
I'm not sure if it's a white people thing specifically, at least other than locally and recently. Maybe more of a "recent American society" thing.
Certainly when I was a kid I was usually watched by my grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts, and so on. Only very rarely was I watched by sitters.
Part of it is modern mobility. Parents may live thousands of miles away from the grandparents, and elders are working in their own careers longer nowadays.
I think that it's a social status thing. I offered to move my in-laws in here, but I think they see multigenerational living as a sort of failure. These sentiments will change, not in time for my children, but hopefully by the time I am a grandparent.
The US survived WWII with considerably less damage and fewer deaths than other technologically-similar countries, with some of the best technology, worldwide influence, and a government system that encouraged productivity. This led to 2 generations of extremely high levels of prosperity relative to the rest of the world. As a result, we've had a period of time where working-class families were able and expected to function with one generation of adults and one generation of children in the home.
I already see signs of this "peculiar little historical blip" ending. I know a lot of adults who are married and/or have children who live with their parents or other relatives. I know a lot of grandparents who babysit their grandchildren multiple days per week. It seems to be fairly common among low income families, and I think it's becoming considerably more common among middle-class families.
It is so outrageous to me that my kids' grandparents are lonely as heck wasting away in their 55 & older retirement community in an inhospitable desert wasteland at the same time I have spent literally tens of thousands of dollars on child care.
I'm not judging but genuine question.. have you ever brought up the potential for co-habitation or discussed this point with them or your SO? Maybe it could work out.
We floated the offer, but it was met by a pretty lukewarm response. When you spend your whole life running on a treadmill with the carrot of "retiring to a warm place" it is probably really hard to look at moving in with your kids as anything but failure.
As someone who has spent a lot of time thinking about this, I feel that the status quo will be remembered as a peculiar little historical blip.
It is so outrageous to me that my kids' grandparents are lonely as heck wasting away in their 55 & older retirement community in an inhospitable desert wasteland at the same time I have spent literally tens of thousands of dollars on child care. Whenever I see other grandparents actively grandparenting, I am filled with jealous resentment.