Thanks for posting this. Your story reminded me so much of myself, but I always just figured "this is the way I am. I am broken." On my last checkup my doctor suggested I might have depression and should come back after the holidays (I was traveling the next day) for a follow up. I literally have not been able to work up the motivation to go back. But I'm going to change that.
I dont know if I ever felt "broken", but rather different. As in an outcast. I always embraced that kind of thing and was always secure about my identity.
But dont get me wrong, I suffered from depression as well. The trick to beat depression is to push yourself past the depressive thoughts by counter arguing with them. "You cant do that", so keep trying it until you do. "You arent attractive", fuck that who cares. Im me. "There were so many people who did this better", well fuck them too, Ill keep doing it until im better.
Of course this is after you get started on a treatment. Depression is too hard to motivate yourself to argue back without some sort of help. :P
