Hah never thought I'd be compared to that legendary comment! It hits home for me because I worked at Dropbox for years. I did at least qualify that I couldn't in good conscience recommend my setup to non-techies :)
If you don't want a baby camera system that's also a part-time hobby...Nanit does seem like the best option. I just lament that the best option requires giving up so much.
Don't worry, I also use Ubiquiti, and self-host Home Assistant on my TrueNAS :)
I have a little server rack cobbled together out of wood under my basement stairs, with a UDM Pro, 24 port POE switch, and an ancient Dell 2U poweredge for TrueNAS.
You joke but wireguard and, very easily, tailscale, solves most crap you normally need to fix. Close everything with ufw and put tailscale, and then you trivially have access from any device / desktop.
I just rely on UniFi and HomeKit for out of home access! But you're so right I could also access remotely via my Wireguard server or Tailscale running on my ubiquiti console... Wish I could hook up baby events like "poop diaper" to Grafana.