Goods for the mass consumer all work like this. The manufacturer creates a product and consumers by it if those features provide them value. If a device doesn't have a feature such as online diagnostics they are free to buy a different product instead. If people really want to add their own features they are free to modify the device. It's more economical to just buy another device which is why you don't see people replacing the parts needed to develop your own software on an iPhone. Easy user modification of the OS is not a feature of iPhone and if added could hurt the quality of the product.
Another way to think of this is imagine if Apple burned the OS into a ROM chip. That doesn't make them the owner of the device because the user can't write to the ROM chip. By that logic no one would own the device because no one can update it, but that can't really be true.
I think a difference is that apple has the means to change the behavior of the device after the fact in ways that the person that purchased the product doesn’t.
This is unique to modern technology, and the fact that they sell you the house keeping sole ownership of the keys to certain rooms is indeed worth examining I think.
Free software is a value prop, not a law. And it is counter to the value prop that one entity is entirely responsible for all of the software (even if Apple doesn’t write every line of code, they are responsible for every bit that ships).
Not everyone cares about the bits. It’s true that the vast majority of consumers prefer having a single supplier to having freedom to run their own bits.
By that same logic consumers can't replace the os on PCs so consumers don't own PCs either. Customizing things manually is not always easy and user friendly. Easy customization is another feature products can offer.
Another way to think of this is imagine if Apple burned the OS into a ROM chip. That doesn't make them the owner of the device because the user can't write to the ROM chip. By that logic no one would own the device because no one can update it, but that can't really be true.