Like you I put an enormous amount of personal free time into software engineering in my career. It had massive benefits that have paid out in many, many ways.
Some days, when I wrap up work, I feel burnt out and just watch TV shows or make food. Other days, I get so into what I'm coding (for fun/edification) that I look up and it's 10PM. It helps to have a long term view- my expectation is that I will be working on projects for a decade or more, slowly getting more knowledgeable, so i don't see a need to rush or overwork.
Some days, when I wrap up work, I feel burnt out and just watch TV shows or make food. Other days, I get so into what I'm coding (for fun/edification) that I look up and it's 10PM. It helps to have a long term view- my expectation is that I will be working on projects for a decade or more, slowly getting more knowledgeable, so i don't see a need to rush or overwork.