hear me out: I think this is a function of distribution mechanisms to at least some extent. when I was a kid in the 90s you could make a game that deep because when I bought or rented it it was the only game that was both new and available to me, so I focused on it for weeks at a time. When you got bored you couldn't quickly switch to a new game, so you explored the game you have because the only alternative was switching back to a game that you've already beaten up for 200 hours. Why was tony hawk pro skater such a great franchise? Because it rewarded you for being good at the game mechanics by opening up new parts of each level as you got better at things, meaning exploration and skill development went hand in hand. Why do I know that soldiers in metal gear solid do a cute little booty wiggle if you point the gun at them long enough? because I played the game so often and for so long that I've done things like point a gun at a soldier for 10 minutes just to see what will happen. I don't actually think that modern games have to hold your hand because of their size. I think that players will explore a big open world left to their own devices. I think that there are games like minecraft and dorf fort that throw you into a complex world with no tutorial beyond trial and error and that players love them for it. I know these aren't technically AAA games but minecraft is the best selling game of all time so the broad appeal is there. I just think that the way we used to play video games followed a really high level loop of frustration->exploration->gratification loop but now every moment of frustration has to compete with the ability to get immediate satisfaction from a different game that can be downloaded and installed in 2 minutes.
I am, however, very with you when it comes to not paying attention to AAA games despite being the kind of person who plays games every day. I agree that no one is offering deep experiences anymore outside the Soulsborne genre, which just isn't fun for me, so I end up focusing on novelty more than anything. My favorite game of all time is a top down roguelite stealther called Heat Signature that I've put hundreds of hours into and done at least one thing that the developer believed to be impossible based on the tutorials (kidnapping someone using only a lethal weapon). The last game I was truly excited about was a quest 1 VR game that was called Help Yourself at the time. Its changed its name since, but the idea is still really cool: it's a puzzle game that involves shooting targets with a gun. It's a bit hard to explain but the tldr is that you have to orchestrate multiple copies of yourself across multiple runthroughs until you shoot all of the targets. A typical level might have to targets with a wall between them such that there is no place where a player has line of sight to both targets, but there is a gap between the wall and the ceiling. On the first runthrough, an instance of you shoots the target on the right, then throws the gun over the wall. On the second runthrough, an instance of you is recreating the action of shooting the target on the right and throwing the gun over the wall, and another instance of you that you're currently in control of walks over to where the gun will land, waits for it to be thrown, then picks it up and shoots the other target. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GENqINO7pXY has some gameplay footage. I haven't had my brain bent by something like this since Portal came out.
I am, however, very with you when it comes to not paying attention to AAA games despite being the kind of person who plays games every day. I agree that no one is offering deep experiences anymore outside the Soulsborne genre, which just isn't fun for me, so I end up focusing on novelty more than anything. My favorite game of all time is a top down roguelite stealther called Heat Signature that I've put hundreds of hours into and done at least one thing that the developer believed to be impossible based on the tutorials (kidnapping someone using only a lethal weapon). The last game I was truly excited about was a quest 1 VR game that was called Help Yourself at the time. Its changed its name since, but the idea is still really cool: it's a puzzle game that involves shooting targets with a gun. It's a bit hard to explain but the tldr is that you have to orchestrate multiple copies of yourself across multiple runthroughs until you shoot all of the targets. A typical level might have to targets with a wall between them such that there is no place where a player has line of sight to both targets, but there is a gap between the wall and the ceiling. On the first runthrough, an instance of you shoots the target on the right, then throws the gun over the wall. On the second runthrough, an instance of you is recreating the action of shooting the target on the right and throwing the gun over the wall, and another instance of you that you're currently in control of walks over to where the gun will land, waits for it to be thrown, then picks it up and shoots the other target. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GENqINO7pXY has some gameplay footage. I haven't had my brain bent by something like this since Portal came out.