You don't think it's obnoxious to aggressively put words in people's mouths and becoming even more aggressive and accusatory when getting some gentle "that's not what I said" pushback on that? Practically no one has an interaction like that and walks away with a positive experience. You can say "your comment would have been better without that remark, don't respond to a bad comment by making a bad comment". Okay, fine. I wouldn't even have responded. But it's really not the "obnoxious to the highest degree"-remark that's the core problem here, it's the "obnoxious to the highest degree"-behaviour. This is exactly how good (non-obnoxious) people stop coming back.
Even if all that is true, "you're being obnoxious to the highest degree" counts as name-calling in the sense that we use that term here and it's not a borderline call. You can make your substantive points without that kind of thing, so please do, regardless of how bad other comments are or you feel they are. Everyone always feels like the other person started it and did worse, so if we rely on those perceptions. we're guaranteed to end up in a downward spiral.
So you're fine with people being obnoxious assholes bullying people off the site with aggressive attacks as long as they're using nice language. Got it.
(and if your response to that is an annoyed "oh please, that's not what I said" – yes, that's my point)
