Just roll out a long strip and fold it twice, now you've got quad-ply. That’ll show em.

I’ve gone 16 ply and still ripped my bum!!

I actually prefer single-ply. I bunch it up (I'm not a folder) and it's far superior to that fluffy stuff that your fingers go right through and then sticks to your bum. Scott 1000-sheet + bidet + squatty potty is perfection to me.

Is it soft single ply? The stuff at the campground is so abrasive.

Wuss! Chuck Norris wipes his ass with sandpaper:

https://duckduckgo.com/?t=ffab&q=sandpaper+on+a+toilet+roll&...