The thing with therapy is that it works well if the problem is an imaginary one or from the past. But it's only a band-aid coping mechanism against ongoing real-life problems. Body shaming and judgement are ongoing real-life problems. It's not hard to find videos of men being judged by their height. These problems can't just be hand waved away with suggestions of therapy. Besides if you read the article, it does mention a female patient as well. So it's clearly not a man problem or a therapy problem. It's a society problem.
I must point this out. Many here on HN are getting too comfortable with being judgemental against men.
The point goku12 was making was that the videos are evidence that such discrimination exists in the real world, not that the videos themselves are the only problem.
Oh! It very much is! They're people on the streets. And even if you decide to neglect it, others who associate with you may not. And they may end up treating you in exactly the same way as on social media. I have seen real life examples of it. Besides, it's too imprudent to neglect the lessons of the past like how FB was implicated in the genocide of Rohingyas in Myanmar. And if that wasn't bad enough, the latest AI/LLM filter bubble is conspicuously widening the social fractures like the gender wars to an extreme level.
There! This is exactly what I mean. Your solution for all of mens' problems is therapy, instead of dealing with the sexist/judgemental media that are hard to miss unless you take some special measures prescribed by therapists. It's like the proverbial someone with only a hammer.
So let me say this unambiguously - The therapists are not there to clean up the mess that the society insists on inflicting. The first line of defense is to prevent that mess in the first place. Let me demonstrate this with an exaggerated example. Would you say that the solution for SA against women is for them to consult therapists/psychologists after the fact, rather than implementing preventive community measures against SA? Therapy is only for those who couldn't be protected by the preventive measures - in either case.
I'm not seriously affected by such videos, because I have reasons. But I also have reasons to call out such dismissive hand waving. And one of those reasons is the damage to the society it inflicts, exemplified by the article that this discussion itself is based on. The often superfluous advise to 'consult a therapist' is an attempt to lay the blame on men with some imagined mental disorder and thus maintain the status quo that leads to scary and painful situations like men allowing their legs to be broken. For that matter, are there enough therapists and psychologists around to deal with so many cases? Is the treatment cheap enough for normal people to afford at all?
To be clear, sexism and judgement are not directed only against men. Women and children are also frequently targeted by sexist bullying. I have seen a documentary on women being shamed into doing something similarly horrific, and wondered why anyone would fill them with such insecurity. I have read in horror, the stories of teenagers being bullied into killing themselves. I really do have empathy for all of them. But the solution is clear and the same - It must be addressed by holding the perpetrators accountable. But when it comes to the same against men, the society overwhelmingly tends to take a very dismissive, unsympathetic and outright hostile stance, choosing to blame men instead of introspecting. The casual double standards at display is deeply unsettling. But such selective protections won't harm just the ones being left out. It will bleed over to those who're being protected as well. And I can see clear indications of an entire generation suffering emotionally for it - no exceptions by gender.
>Your solution for all of mens' problems is therapy
What I said was: You can choose not to watch the videos. Social media is optional.
> I have seen a documentary on women being shamed into doing something similarly horrific, and wondered why anyone would fill them with such insecurity. I have read in horror, the stories of teenagers being bullied into killing themselves.
Women should also log off. Parents need to moderate kids access to social media also.
> Therapists can give you tools and strategies to avoid watching social media videos.
Suggestion of therapy is widely misused these days to deflect attention and accountability from the fundamental issue - sexist rhetoric, misandry especially.
> What I said was: You can choose not to watch the videos. Social media is optional.
Social media is not optional in practice. It won't stop affecting you just because you abandon it. Others in your circle are influenced by them. The rhetoric is already instigating incidence of DV, assaults, false accusations and public humiliation. It's no longer just 'annoying'. Inaction, passive measures and shifting the responsibility on to potential victims (like therapy) are not going to cut it anymore.
The minimum remedy is a mass campaign that treats them like propaganda inciting violence. Those responsible for it must be called out and held accountable (somehow, this is non-controversial when it's about misogyny). Moral-shaming ad campaigns must be expanded to cover all forms of sexism (consistency and integrity aren't exactly their forte). But I doubt even that will stop it. Many corporate, mainstream media, international institutions and governments actively promote it. They wont abandon the malevolence without massive repercussions.
> Women should also log off. Parents need to moderate kids access to social media also.
While I agree, that ship has sailed long ago, I'm afraid. Social media has invaded the foundations of real-life social networks. Network effects and peer pressure make it nearly impossible to dislodge it from there. A lot of innocent lives will be ruined or lost if you wait for that to happen - if ever.
I must point this out. Many here on HN are getting too comfortable with being judgemental against men.