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> when somebody's first answer to a problem/inquiry is "you're not good enough or else you would see the lights" it raises alarms in my head.

You are kind of right about that, as it is often leads to the "No true Scotsman" fallacy [1]. On the other hand, one should be cautious of not using that as an excuse to give up when one has reached a progress plateau and the next learning curve looks steep.

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_true_Scotsman



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