All I can say is you are not alone. When I read this, almost all you say resonates with me - and there is no privacy, especially in startups. I learnt it the hard way too.
Please don't think you are not good enough. The interviewing process is just ridiculous and illogical (for an industry that deals with logic all the time!).
I don't have any answers - since I am also in the current state. And I also found out that no one has any answers - everyone is probably lost in some way or another.
Take some time off if you can. And if you have the luxury, don't think about anything else for a while.
You sound burnt out. If possible move back in with parents and family, take some time to rest and recoup. Things will seem a lot clearer once you take some time to reset
What was most offensive to me was (aside from the blatant breach of privacy -which only added to problems with my cofounder and I) was that they seemed to take issue with the fact I was advocating for the best option for my value as an engineer. Also... most of the calls they received were from recruiters doing checks BEFORE reaching out to me. Immediately jumping to the conclusion I was "running around shopping my resume" is candidly childish at best.
This was all for an initial investment of $120k which is frankly hilarious. The idea I wouldn't do whats best for me because you gave me $100k.
Please don't think you are not good enough. The interviewing process is just ridiculous and illogical (for an industry that deals with logic all the time!).
I don't have any answers - since I am also in the current state. And I also found out that no one has any answers - everyone is probably lost in some way or another.
Take some time off if you can. And if you have the luxury, don't think about anything else for a while.