I don't have time for the overly polite fluff talk to the expense of practical and real communication. It is hard to be caring and direct. Being triggered by anything can be ptsd, and/or a self defense mechanism for incompetence, so it's important to work out what is going on in these cases. But yes, it is absolutely possible to be caring and gracious while still being direct when you exclude the people who will over react as a self defense mechanism as a result of valid or invalid reasons.