> I think I'm largely looking for what makes this different from telling someone to just not be depressed?

It's not wishful thinking if that's what you're alluding to. The idea of reframing isn't to tell yourself positive things so that you feel good. It's to highlight positive things that you'd otherwise not have seen and to factor them into the full equation of what it is that you're doing.

It's also more about the following: with many situations it's hard to objectively evaluate the truth to such an extent that different perspectives seem equally true given the knowledge you have. If that's the case, then pick the most optimistic, hopeful and motivating one.

It's not just "the power of positive thinking". There is truth in the fact that a person that doesn't know you hasn't had the chance of meeting you. It's up to you to decide whether that's a shame or not. I personally find it a shame, because the world is a more beautiful place when people are more well-connected in a way that they're happy with. The only way to do that is to reach out to people. Hence, the perspective holds value. Missing out on that perspective would be a shame, but that is what would happen to me if all I can do is having a knee jerk level of a reaction.

Another example is: studying math will teach you discipline. If you hate studying math but you want to learn discipline, there is some solace in that. It's true that many things will teach you discipline, so that doesn't mean that all of a sudden it's all okay now. However, excluding that fact does give a negative bias that doesn't need to be there. Removing that bias gives someone a bit more autonomy, especially when they also have some control over their schedule so they can study when they feel sharp.

Now, it could be that someone then would say "yea but the issue actually is that I'm doing this all by myself". Now you're touching upon relatedness. Relatedness is not something to reframe, it's something to seek out. So you could search for a math community. Now, one could hear "I don't like these people" (or they do and then it's problem solved). If that's the case, it could very well mean they're just not feeling fully socially settled in at school and that's actually interferring with them from having a calm mind.

That last example is semi-auto biographic. What eventually happened was that I got good at socializing and then studying for geeky things became easier again.