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The year is 2058, I drive up to my home after working at the amazon warehouse for 14 hours, it's my 6th day of work, I finally get my day off. I drive home in my amazon basics SUV listening to "NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL AMAZON BASICS 54". After filling up my car at the amazon basic recharging station I pull into my amazon basics car shed and open my front door after verifying my prime membership to my amazon basics branded Ring doorbell. I get my amazon basics hungry man TV meal and sit down to watch some flicks on my amazon basics fire TV. Stranger Things finally entered it's 7th season, and I'm so excited I pissed my amazon basics boxer briefs on the way home. The show leaves me foaming in the mouth it was so good, I came into my amazon basics fleshlight 4 times. I go to clean it out in my complete amazon basics full bath, I'm all out of amazon basics bar soap, fuck. I walk into what used to be my home office and go to the nearest wall of amazon dash buttons. I press the amazon basics dash button and receive a notification on my amazon basics fire tablet that my amazon basics checking account has overdrawn. My account gets charged a $50 overdraft fee and I hear a knock on my door. The amazon basics SWAT came to my house, beat me to the ground with their amazon basics batons, and cuffed me with amazon basics handcuffs. They throw me into the back of an amazon basics crown vic for the next 30 minutes. The windows are tinted with amazon basics 100% tint, can't see shit outside. The car comes to a stop and the door opens. I've been brought to the amazon basics prison for delinquents. I'm now forced to work 16 hours a day making amazon basics clothes hangers for the next 35 years to pay off my amazon basics overdraft fees. I'm amazon basically fucked.


In the grim dark future there is only ~~war~~ the quarterly reports of the last two corporations (BerkshireComcastDisneyExxonMobil and AlphabetAmazonAppleAramco).


Jeff Bezo’s foaming at the mouth right now because of what you just wrote.


At the concept that there would be 'days off' in this future utopia?

(Also I'm fairly sure that the Amazon Dash is an un-product, so that's thoughtcrime for a start.)


Haha, yea, the only thing unbelievable about that otherwise great copypasta is that workers will have "days off" in 2058.


I believe you mean the year was 64 A.A (Anno Amazon)


Amazon prime citizens look down their noses from a high balcony at this Amazon basic worker.


Sixteen tons


NO NO NO NO NO!

NOT the Amazon Basics Wed Wun! Don't EVER push the Amazon Basics Wed Wun!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_IE_0-Xlis&t=181s




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