Announcing a solution to joycon drift would require acknowledging drift at all, which would open them to another class action. The camera is sold separately, so you can just not plug it in. The parental controls also lets you turn off chat.

Technically they could market "the Joy-Con 2 sticks uses Hall Effect for better precision" to convey the implication that they will avoid drift without admitting culpability (and being factually true about better precision). If they were using HE, they likely would have noted it IMO.

These guys are so cheap you know they didn’t add them in

In the direct they took several moments to describe how parents can lock away this feature from children using the Nintendo app.