Turing complete YAML ends up being an app specific terrible programming language.

Many of us would rather use a less terrible programming language instead.

Something went horribly wrong if your coworkers are putting switching logic inside your config

I've been using YAML professionally for a decade and other than forgetting to wrap some values in quotes, has been an absolute non issue.

Some people talk about YAML being a turing complete language, if people try to do that in your CI/CD system just fire them

I'll allow helm style templating but that's about it.