I am also very hesitant on buying an EV. Next to spyware - which is also a problem on my phone, I struggle more with the problem of having a built-in obsolescence.
Any device with a dependence on an App, iOS is sooner or later going to force you to buy something new.
I love working and riding 20-30year old bicycles, sailboats, or even an old Toyota Jeep. Less dependency on software compatibility.
From what I've read, telemetry is typically opt-in on both EVs and gas. It's tactile mechanical controls that are more important to me. I'm even considering just doing a custom conversion on mine, just as soon as solid-state batteries show up to make the battery life (and hopefully charging time) worth it for heavier vehicles. Any time now...
Granted, the same goes for modern gas cars, which is also why I stick to secondhand but premium pre-infotainment cars