Get out of the big names and startups - they are known for abuse for a reason (along with games which is perhaps worse). Find joy in boring things - a lot of finance jobs are 40 hours no more (and they force you to take a 2 week vacation with no work contact every year - in hopes that if you are committing fraud you can't hide in that long). I work for John Deere which is that way (at least in my division). There are many others out there, often they sound boring but they are at the forefront of innovation in their own little niche and they expect you to have a life outside of work.