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My best dating apps lately have been Trader Joe's and Ducky's Car Wash.

I wear aloha shirts every day, and nearly every time I go to TJ's, someone asks me where they can find a particular item. It may be a guy or a gal, but I am always happy to help a neighbor find what they need.

That is not the reason I wear aloha shirts. I just love these shirts! Every spring I get the Cooke Street shirts at Costco, one of each new pattern.

One time at the Menlo Park Trader Joe's I was talking with the guy restocking the freezer section. He said, "Nice aloha shirt! I bet people sometimes think you work here."

Sure enough, a minute later a young lady walked up to me and asked if we had organic bread. I walked her over to the bread section and pointed out the organic breads.

Later I caught up with the freezer guy again and told him "you were right!"

Ducky's, for those unfamiliar, is a car wash with several locations on the SF Peninsula. Even if you just get an exterior wash, after you go through the tunnel they hand dry your car.

There is a waiting area outside with a dozen chairs, and it takes 5-10 minutes before your car is ready.

And you never know who you might run into there!

The key to this, of course, is to be outgoing and friendly, and open to surprises.



Ok I understood the Aloha shirt —> people thinking you’re a TJ employee —> asking for help connections. I feel there is quite a gap between here —-> getting a date. How does that work?


You start vibing and based on vibes you ask them whether you wanna grab coffee/a drink sometime soon, exchange numbers, smile and continue shopping.


You got it! The other thing is to be open to any kind of friendly interaction.

Just yesterday I was at the Redwood City TJ's and a guy asked me where to find soy milk. I wasn't as familiar with the layout of that store, but an actual crew member was standing near us, and I said "I'm not sure, but I think this gentleman can help you."

After he got his soy milk we ran into each other again, and he said "I'm sorry, I was sure you worked here. The shirt!"

I told him, "No apology needed! It happens all the time. And sometimes it's a nice young lady who asks me where to find something."


Best dating advice I ever got was "get busy doing something you are good at and proud of, and you will attract someone who appreciates that".

Apparently you are good at wearing aloha shirts and finding products. ¯ \ _ ( ツ ) _ / ¯


Tiny detail: that "something" has to be out of the house and in a populated area.


And popular with women too. You’re not going to meet many women if you’re racing motorcycles.


Yep. How amazing is it that women as well as men shop at Trader Joe's and get their cars washed at Ducky's!


Almost said nonstarter for us, people dead set on programming, but then remembered there are still co-working meetups.


Wait what lol

If you’re dead set on spending your discretionary time working and coding then dating will be impossible. I don’t think the opportunity to co-work together with others is the solution but I’m willing to be proven wrong. If this sounded snarky I don’t mean it to be, the programmer hobbyist is becoming rarer and rarer these days. Cheers


I don't know about co-working specifically, but meetups for startup founders, educational meetups for software engineering, and hackathons attract plenty of people of both genders.


That is the best dating advice I have ever heard!

And yes, you nailed what I may be good at.

I guess I am also good at having conversations with random strangers, male or female. I always smile at people - men or women - but never in a creepy way.

And I say hello if it seems appropriate. I never expect anything out of this, I just enjoy meeting my neighbors.




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