Swamped is on point. I watched my roommate-now-girlfriend get over 1,000 likes in no time at all (I can't remember well but certainly on the order of hours, not days). It was in a populated, well-off area, but still. When you see something like that, it puts a lot of this whole thing into perspective.

Women being swamped on dating apps has absolutely no relevance to saying hi in real life.

Women who are swamped on dating apps are not swamped with attention from men in real life.

They see this discrepancy, and instinctively interpret that as the dating site being a space where all the world's desperate losers have gathered.

You don't need to stand out, just not stand in that same place.