Raising kids is hard. And it’s an evolving task. How we were raised is not the right way to raise kids now. Parents sometimes try to relive or remake their childhood. You can pour so much time and energy into parenting and not get it right. It’s disheartening but sometimes it may come down to luck of the environment and just the kid. I frankly no longer think parenting matters all that much beyond simple basics such as providing food and shelter (ie economic resources).