Neocities is delightful.

But, you can't run PHP on Neocities.

Neocities does not allow you to run any code, just static html serving

If you're making a serious website, alternatives include Vercel, Cloudflare Pages, Deno Deploy, and Fly

If you use any of these be prepared for them taking down your websites the moment you pop up on their radar monitors, for example when you get traffic.

Actually, that applies to any server, (web)hosting, datacenter rack, internet connection, bank account, domain name. As soon as your provider (or the powers that be) notices you, for example a complaint or a government official email, they will take down your hosted system or connection. In 45 year of internet and datacenters I never ever saw an exception to this rule. Even Tor hidden servers are taken down.

as god commanded

Limitations inspire creativity :D