I've had some old Reddit rants like this, although it was in the context of names in computer games, especially in very large systems where multiple users might be equally worthy of a name that they've already been given or built-up elsewhere.

However I didn't consider the distinction between pet-names versus edge-names. (Ex: "Mom" versus "Terr_ suggests other people refer to this contact as "Alice Smith") I'm generally of the opinion that I should be able to easily recognize the formal names of anyone I'm that close to. :P On reflection, perhaps a better justification for the split would be organization, such as "Dentist" versus "Johnson and Joelson Oral Health Associates."

My thinking had been that in online chats etc. any references to users would have a globally-unique identifier under the hood, and each user's client would be smart enough to specially-render it in some way which substitutes a nicer name and clearly indicates where that nicer name comes from to deter phishing.