Man here, mid fifties. Career peaked a decade ago, closing in on retirement.
The days can be slow, but years go by fast. I also don't care about work the way I did in my 20s and 30s. I never liked working with people (I liked individual performance and contribution the most, realizing this after having to manage several teams at once), but the only way to compete well and achieve meaningful things is in healthy teams. It's just hard to find the healthy people and healthy missions for those teams--one bad apple can spoil things, and there are bad apples everywhere.
The discipline you exhibit in exercise and moderation is big, as well as the courage to change jobs and build a business--I launched a business (late 40s, early 50s) that was mildly successful, but decided it wasn't worth it after many years. I have no regrets shooting my shot. I've been married for about 3 decades and have 3 great kids.
Here are some of my specific experiences and conclusions, which may apply generally to you and a plurality of people:
+ marriage is really hard. The hormonal buzz fades, and a lot of big decisions around money, career, kids, relationships need to be made and they can take a toll as not every decision is a win-win, better-over-good. The political polarization of the US and world is fluff compared to the large gaps between two people in a marriage. But marriage is also really great, to be able to halve the weight of life and double the celebration of it. I don't think many people are willing to do what it takes to have an extraordinary marriage, and even if both are, they won't always be 100% energized at the same time, and there will be drier seasons. Two are indeed better than one, but the opportunity costs of achieving a great marriage are high. Don't get married unless you can be all-in for the rest of your life, and you find someone who also seems to be (people don't always accurately indicate who they actually are or how they will change in dating and courtship, which is why a wedding is such an expression of hope, especially when looking at the data for success).
+ kids are great, but they are a ton of work and present high costs. The optimal amount of kids to have is probably 3-4, as sibling interaction is priceless for basic development. Special needs children are even more challenging to raise, and will be another stressor on a marriage. Having even 1 child will make a failed marriage even more devastating in impact. Even more differences and conflicts between spouses on values and priorities will emerge when parenting, and if spouses can't parent collaboratively, then they will likely fail more than succeed as parents--not as people, and I am not saying their children are failures, just everyone having to face more trauma, and yes, some are able to transcend their trauma
+ it is important to find real purpose in your job. I work in the US financial sector, and all my global travels (to Africa, Latin America, Europe, and Asia) and research leads me to believe that my work reduces poverty (through providing higher economic stability and productivity, relative to other jurisdictions) but it does so at a higher cost than need be--financial intermediaries enrich selves much more than clients. Still, I am both proud and humbled to be helping others emerge from and stay out of poverty, and hope that Wall St fees continue to ebb over time. I am confident your work also helps others, and you need to embrace the good that you are doing, as meaningless as it seems most of the time. I was a programmer out of college, and found that software change management was complex and tedious ... but I see that software progress will continue to be a great democratizing force for generations.
+ On faith and spirituality, I am a data and evidence-driven person, but I realize that we don't have enough data to make conclusions about the existence of a Creator, so it requires a leap of faith to assume One. The main benefit is that God is the Source of human worthy, dignity, value and rights. I have yet to identify a credible alternate source--but am familiar with alternate theories, and appreciate learning from Richard Dawkins, Chris Hitchens, etc. I am all-in with my local church, which is rare for its diversity (political, socioeconomic, racial, cultural), and we wrestle with loving people well--which Jesus was clear about, but churches tend to forget--and seeking truth where there isn't much data, through faith as well as reasoning. Through this community, I am able to help many friends who are struggling in various areas of life (including marriage, work, health, philosophy and other issues), as well as under-resourced people as close as a migrant shelter near the church building and as far away as one of the poorest provinces in Africa. Just this past weekend, I was able to help an asylum seeker from a repressive Middle East regime with career and personal finance counseling.
+ I am mildly engaged with my alma mater, in a variety of volunteer capacities. One role I had was to mentor an accepted high school student who lived nearby, and I am meeting him for lunch next week, almost 20 years after our first lunch. I would definitely recommend you meet many people, and then cultivate deeper and long term relationships with a few, the ones that resonate with you the most. I find the relationships made in the context of serving others can be the most meaningful, and whatever you are doing to pay the bills is really facilitating these relationships and your life legacy.
+ I am looking forward to continuing to see my kids thrive, through college, and perhaps marriage and grandchildren down the road. I am looking forward to retirement and travel. But I am also looking forward to new ways to help others, such as tutoring 1st and 2nd graders in reading, and 3rd and 4th graders in math--as if they don't get reading and math in these phases of life, they will likely be unable to ever grasp the basic skills to navigate and make good decisions.
In sum, there is so much life ahead for you to live. You are likely a global one-percenter in income ($60k) and retirement net worth ($900k), but it's natural for us to compare up and selectively--my hypothesis for why social media is such a time suck and contributor to mental health problems. But you need to discover the meaning, purpose and connections that concretely manifestable, which can all be hazy right now from the fog of culture. Seek, and you shall find.
The days can be slow, but years go by fast. I also don't care about work the way I did in my 20s and 30s. I never liked working with people (I liked individual performance and contribution the most, realizing this after having to manage several teams at once), but the only way to compete well and achieve meaningful things is in healthy teams. It's just hard to find the healthy people and healthy missions for those teams--one bad apple can spoil things, and there are bad apples everywhere.
The discipline you exhibit in exercise and moderation is big, as well as the courage to change jobs and build a business--I launched a business (late 40s, early 50s) that was mildly successful, but decided it wasn't worth it after many years. I have no regrets shooting my shot. I've been married for about 3 decades and have 3 great kids.
Here are some of my specific experiences and conclusions, which may apply generally to you and a plurality of people:
+ marriage is really hard. The hormonal buzz fades, and a lot of big decisions around money, career, kids, relationships need to be made and they can take a toll as not every decision is a win-win, better-over-good. The political polarization of the US and world is fluff compared to the large gaps between two people in a marriage. But marriage is also really great, to be able to halve the weight of life and double the celebration of it. I don't think many people are willing to do what it takes to have an extraordinary marriage, and even if both are, they won't always be 100% energized at the same time, and there will be drier seasons. Two are indeed better than one, but the opportunity costs of achieving a great marriage are high. Don't get married unless you can be all-in for the rest of your life, and you find someone who also seems to be (people don't always accurately indicate who they actually are or how they will change in dating and courtship, which is why a wedding is such an expression of hope, especially when looking at the data for success).
+ kids are great, but they are a ton of work and present high costs. The optimal amount of kids to have is probably 3-4, as sibling interaction is priceless for basic development. Special needs children are even more challenging to raise, and will be another stressor on a marriage. Having even 1 child will make a failed marriage even more devastating in impact. Even more differences and conflicts between spouses on values and priorities will emerge when parenting, and if spouses can't parent collaboratively, then they will likely fail more than succeed as parents--not as people, and I am not saying their children are failures, just everyone having to face more trauma, and yes, some are able to transcend their trauma
+ it is important to find real purpose in your job. I work in the US financial sector, and all my global travels (to Africa, Latin America, Europe, and Asia) and research leads me to believe that my work reduces poverty (through providing higher economic stability and productivity, relative to other jurisdictions) but it does so at a higher cost than need be--financial intermediaries enrich selves much more than clients. Still, I am both proud and humbled to be helping others emerge from and stay out of poverty, and hope that Wall St fees continue to ebb over time. I am confident your work also helps others, and you need to embrace the good that you are doing, as meaningless as it seems most of the time. I was a programmer out of college, and found that software change management was complex and tedious ... but I see that software progress will continue to be a great democratizing force for generations.
+ On faith and spirituality, I am a data and evidence-driven person, but I realize that we don't have enough data to make conclusions about the existence of a Creator, so it requires a leap of faith to assume One. The main benefit is that God is the Source of human worthy, dignity, value and rights. I have yet to identify a credible alternate source--but am familiar with alternate theories, and appreciate learning from Richard Dawkins, Chris Hitchens, etc. I am all-in with my local church, which is rare for its diversity (political, socioeconomic, racial, cultural), and we wrestle with loving people well--which Jesus was clear about, but churches tend to forget--and seeking truth where there isn't much data, through faith as well as reasoning. Through this community, I am able to help many friends who are struggling in various areas of life (including marriage, work, health, philosophy and other issues), as well as under-resourced people as close as a migrant shelter near the church building and as far away as one of the poorest provinces in Africa. Just this past weekend, I was able to help an asylum seeker from a repressive Middle East regime with career and personal finance counseling.
+ I am mildly engaged with my alma mater, in a variety of volunteer capacities. One role I had was to mentor an accepted high school student who lived nearby, and I am meeting him for lunch next week, almost 20 years after our first lunch. I would definitely recommend you meet many people, and then cultivate deeper and long term relationships with a few, the ones that resonate with you the most. I find the relationships made in the context of serving others can be the most meaningful, and whatever you are doing to pay the bills is really facilitating these relationships and your life legacy.
+ I am looking forward to continuing to see my kids thrive, through college, and perhaps marriage and grandchildren down the road. I am looking forward to retirement and travel. But I am also looking forward to new ways to help others, such as tutoring 1st and 2nd graders in reading, and 3rd and 4th graders in math--as if they don't get reading and math in these phases of life, they will likely be unable to ever grasp the basic skills to navigate and make good decisions.
In sum, there is so much life ahead for you to live. You are likely a global one-percenter in income ($60k) and retirement net worth ($900k), but it's natural for us to compare up and selectively--my hypothesis for why social media is such a time suck and contributor to mental health problems. But you need to discover the meaning, purpose and connections that concretely manifestable, which can all be hazy right now from the fog of culture. Seek, and you shall find.