I used to work for a guy who was the exact opposite of the shock absorber, "crap umbrella" who can make for a good boss. Instead, this was the guy who was mixing up the Flavor Aid at Jonestown. I recall a bit where he was relaying how the organization was rolling out a new performance metric, and it was a full-on "Ratings of a full five out of five technically exist; you will never get a five, but you should strive for five and behave as if it were attainable" with a straight face and acted as if this were reasonable, not risible.

Similarly, I felt like I was being asked to try for that football.

At this point, I consider every performance review and self-evaluation to be an elaborate and shameful Kabuki routine I must execute while various entities in some star chamber play craps with my future.