Hey past me! Dont worry, this will pass, if you continue putting a considerable effort into trying to solve it. You will realize that only YOU can create meaning for yourself, it shall only come from within. No amount of checking checkboxes will ever do that, as someone will even suggest check more and MORE boxes: have kids, study religion, travel, pills, blah. This will not help! Btw, nobody on your journey will be able to help you with their stupid advice either, as this is DEEPLY personal. You will find it! keep digging.