from my memories, i can recommend gauze with embedded rotting flesh from a gangrenous wound. we used to get one or two of these a year at the microbiology lab i worked in, and there were few volunteers to open the container. exploding stool containers, packed full up with shit and then left in sunlight for several hours were another non-favourite.
I've had to send in stool samples several times for various reasons, and every time I imagined some poor lab tech having to handle it. Too bad they never did a "Dirty Jobs" episode about that profession.
actually, it was really easy to send in a simple to deal with. the NHS used a stool sample container that had a little spoon attached to the top (whole container is about 4 inches long and 1.5 wide, spoon about big enough to hold a pea) - procedure:
- crap, but catch some on toilet paper
- scoop some with little spoon - tests need almost nothing
- send off to lab
it was astounding how few samples we got, even from hospitals, that managed this.
Have you ever tried to catch something behind yourself, or under yourself in a high squatting position? Something your body has some deep learning about not touching? Seems like labs would get a better response with putting some used TP in a bag.
>> it was astounding how few samples we got, even from hospitals, that managed this.
Yeah, I'll tell you why. I was asked for a stool sample once (don't ask). I looked at that tiny perspex cylinder with the tiny little fairy spoon in it and it was immediately obvious: nuh-huh. No way. I'm not handing my shit in a tube to some poor health person. Nope. No. Never. No way.
TFE: Too Fucking Embarassing!
You medical people have to think harder about all the things you ask your patients to do. Colonoscopies? Specula? Prostate exams? Shoving a rod up your nostrils to get samples for Covid? Come on. The human body is not just a machine. There's a little person inside that feels every single thing.
