There’s a brand I’ve seen in stores called “Athletic” and it’s nearly indistinguishable

> I have tried almost every major non-alcoholic beer in the U.S., and none of them truly taste exactly like beer.

Agreed, but if you drink them exclusively for a few weeks, your taste buds and brain will reframe around them, and it'll cease to be a problem. I did this with Brewdog's Punk AF, and after 2 weeks on that, most non-alcoholic beers triggered my brain's "I'm drinking beer!" response.

It's a lot of work for overpriced soft drinks, and isn't for everyone.

Also, I'm back to drinking real beer again anyway.

They are improving all the time.

Some are really good. If you like german weissbeer then Franziskaner Alkoholfrei is more or less indistiguishable to me.

There are other good ones too.

Over in the UK I think Adnams Ghost Ship 0.5% is the best one commonly available that I’ve had. Most of them are far too sweet.