The situation you describe sounds familiar, but having dealt with these situations there are many potential root scenarios the facts can support.
Here are a few things that stick out. There is some motive force that animates your sister.
She travels to and from work regularly. Is able to go out and get surgery and cosmetics.
She has reduced interaction with immediate family - more precisely, she has reduced her interactions over several years.
You describe interactions as situations where “ ..doesn't share her actual thoughts and gets angry when asked about it”, / Emotional Upheaval.
There are many skills that are at play here. Decision making, planning, goal setting, even basic skills like getting out of the house. It will be tempting to “judge” and comment how those skills are being used - ignore that urge.
Secondly, you describe your efforts to provide assistance - suggesting Building sites, or expanding on her interests, which result in a “I dont know.” Of the methods attempted, loosely classified, they focus on action, doing things.
Assuming that you are helping in the manner you would expect to be helped - it may not be the manner in which she understands help or needs to be helped.
In the off chance that this extrapolation based on limited data is correct, then your sister may simply connect or need help in different ways.
From experience - some people dont need a plan or help, they need to understand themselves, this is sufficient information for them to make their own plans and act on their own. Others prefer concrete, actionable plans and dont really need this kind of help.
When two such individuals attempt to help each other, the usual outcome is either “You want me to do more, after I am already struggling?” Or “Why are you wasting my time when I need concrete solutions”.
If it helps - ‘thinking’ something through, is also a project. You are building yourself. Often people forget who they are, what their strengths are, become too tired, expect themselves to perform even though they are dead tired - they make errors in their projects.
In such cases some objective reassurance of their capabilities, a genuine analysis of their situation, helps. Often the best person to do this is a professional, because the emotional state interferes with the objective evaluation (“I will fail” vs “No shit - I cant be creative if I am this stressed”)
I dont have a solution, but I hope some of these thoughts aligned with the circumstances you find yourself within.
If it helps - I use something like this to work situations like this out.
Here are a few things that stick out. There is some motive force that animates your sister.
She travels to and from work regularly. Is able to go out and get surgery and cosmetics.
She has reduced interaction with immediate family - more precisely, she has reduced her interactions over several years.
You describe interactions as situations where “ ..doesn't share her actual thoughts and gets angry when asked about it”, / Emotional Upheaval.
There are many skills that are at play here. Decision making, planning, goal setting, even basic skills like getting out of the house. It will be tempting to “judge” and comment how those skills are being used - ignore that urge.
Secondly, you describe your efforts to provide assistance - suggesting Building sites, or expanding on her interests, which result in a “I dont know.” Of the methods attempted, loosely classified, they focus on action, doing things.
Assuming that you are helping in the manner you would expect to be helped - it may not be the manner in which she understands help or needs to be helped.
In the off chance that this extrapolation based on limited data is correct, then your sister may simply connect or need help in different ways.
From experience - some people dont need a plan or help, they need to understand themselves, this is sufficient information for them to make their own plans and act on their own. Others prefer concrete, actionable plans and dont really need this kind of help.
When two such individuals attempt to help each other, the usual outcome is either “You want me to do more, after I am already struggling?” Or “Why are you wasting my time when I need concrete solutions”.
If it helps - ‘thinking’ something through, is also a project. You are building yourself. Often people forget who they are, what their strengths are, become too tired, expect themselves to perform even though they are dead tired - they make errors in their projects.
In such cases some objective reassurance of their capabilities, a genuine analysis of their situation, helps. Often the best person to do this is a professional, because the emotional state interferes with the objective evaluation (“I will fail” vs “No shit - I cant be creative if I am this stressed”)
I dont have a solution, but I hope some of these thoughts aligned with the circumstances you find yourself within.
If it helps - I use something like this to work situations like this out.
Over engineered: https://chat.openai.com/g/g-KD6jm0l4c-thought-council
Base version: https://chat.openai.com/g/g-Cdq3drl87-two-guides
Non ChatGPT + version: https://chat.openai.com/share/d37ce786-20a4-482e-b348-87cd03...