This has all the trappings to be miserably boring. The story is long. In the middle of nowhere. Filled with weirdo boys cosplaying as yeoman intellectuals.

I figured the story would take a dark turn, like a horror flick.

Au contraire! This is a story about a bunch of self righteous pricks whose peckers get antibiotic resistant STDs.

This was great, thank you. (The moral lesson is interesting too but I don't want to spoil it)