I can't answer definitively, but I was looking for SFP cards recently and the older cards don't really support ASPM. The cards themselves aren't power hogs, but they keep the CPU from going into lower states during idle.
The cheapest one I found that others related had ASPM actually working was the Intel X710, and those are much more expensive than the ConnectX-3.
Are you comparing new Intel cards to old mellanox cards on ebay? If not idk why, I have not compared them myself, some feature maybe? Cost doesn't always make sense either.
No individual connection other than like a cr tral storage server needs 100gbe, at least for me, but a 100gbe backplane is good for a lot of 1gbe poe devices as an example. With residential fiber/coax reaching 5gb, 1gb is not enough.
the same hardware was sold at different prices with different capabilities enabled based on the exact model variant, stuff like higher speeds and infiniband support
you can see them all in the datasheet, I believe fcbt is the one with all the stuff enabled