They could have before, back when I worked for apple support I took call from someone who was in a small prop plane crash and called in because the laptop was still intact but the screen cracked; they ended up comping the entire thing (and some more stuff) because the story was good.

You’re telling me I just need some radical stories to get better support? Noted.

Absolutely. There's a bunch of key words you can still say to talk to engineering if you want to - but they will hang up when they know you are full of shit.

You've ascended to "Tier: Radical" support. How may we serve you?