What suburbs are you talking about? Whenever I see the topic discussed here, people always seem to be referring to some strawman neighborhood surrounded by desert and highway. And maybe that's true out west where land is sparse, but all the suburbs I've known have been places like Abington, PA. Look at it from street view. There's plenty of sidewalks, detached houses, shops and restaurants, big chain stores, small mom and pop stores, and train stations that take you downtown. You can start from anywhere on that map and make it to a supermarket within 20 minutes of walking.
You complain about people cherry-picking an unfriendly suburb, and then cherry-pick a friendly one. There are both types, and it's basically pure luck (as a kid) if you happen to live in a friendly one.
I didn't cherry pick anything. I'm just saying that no suburb I've ever seen fits the strawman description. And I've looked at plenty of them up and down the Northeast corridor.
https://www.google.com/maps/place/Abington,+PA