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It's closely related and perhaps entirely falls under the umbrella of Persistent Drive for Autonomy.

The thing I like about PDA is that it has this framing duality. Depending on whether it's framed by a neurotypical perspective or a neurodivergent perspective the behaviors are either pathological or virtuous.

For example, not perceiving social hierarchy, vs dismantling unjustified hierarchies.

I stand to be better versed in the topic, but I hope this gives a taste of how framing can pathologize or praise the same behavior.



We're pretty sure our daughter has PDA. It's relatively mild, but when it strikes there's nothing virtuous about it. She would fight us continuously on almost everything from the age of 2.5. After 5.5 or so she settled down a bit, but it's still rough pretty frequently.

People would often tell us things like "oh, it's great to have a girl who knows her own mind", and the virtuous framing sort of implies that way of thinking. But that's not it at all - the PDA society in the UK say that it should be treated like a panic attack, and that's basically what it is, at least in her case. It's not her carefully considering the options and rejecting the "normal" one, it's that when a demand triggers it (and not all do, for reasons that we can't work out) her brain completely shuts down due to crippling anxiety. We cannot talk her down, we can't reason with her or apply logic, discipline, bribery or anything else. We basically just have to wait a bit until it passes, and then discuss it afterwards.

I know it's more fashionable these days to refer to it as Persistent Drive for Autonomy rather than Pathological Demand Avoidance, but at least in her case it is absolutely pathological. She is now aware that it happens and hates it and the conflict it provokes in her life. She'd do anything to change it but realistically can't, especially since any sort of therapy feels like a demand and is almost impossible to follow.


It sounds ego-dystonic from her perspective. Sorry it can be so challenging.




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