> your pronoun if you didn't make it obvious by your attire
This is still a minefield, especially among teenagers and very young adults who latch on to any opportunity to assert their individuality. I have met more than one man who wears female clothing and cosmetics and adopts female mannerisms, yet still insists that he is non-binary or a “non-binary male” and so his pronouns will be “he” or “they”, and you might get chewed out for using the wrong pronoun.
Having dealt with this many times, it’s usually just easier to apologize and use their preferred pronouns/name. I tend to store that information in my contacts list.
On the other side, I’ve had to deal with changing my assumed name and some people just insist on using my previous assumed name. (Most people know me as Kayodé, not my legal name.) A few people forget from time to time. I can only imagine what it’s like for people who change their legal name instead keeping it for convenience.
Identity is a pain in the ass and it’s just not worth the argument.
If it helps you feel better, as a they/he, being referred to as "she" doesn't offend me so much as it might confuse people I present more masculine around. Sometimes it even feels like it validates the androgynous/feminine expression that I partake in. I can't speak for everyone though, I'm just me
You know they prefer non-binary pronouns and still referred to them with "he" and "his". Maybe you're a non-native English speaker, and struggle with gender and grammar. Or maybe they have a point.
You’re rudely assuming an awful lot: 1) that it was me who referred to the person with an unwanted pronoun, as opposed to simply witnessing the person get upset by a third party doing so, and 2) that someone who insists on the identity of a non-binary male necessarily does not want to be referred to with the pronoun “he”. Pronoun preferences are just as diverse or contrary to others’ expectations as the labels that people apply to themselves.
This is still a minefield, especially among teenagers and very young adults who latch on to any opportunity to assert their individuality. I have met more than one man who wears female clothing and cosmetics and adopts female mannerisms, yet still insists that he is non-binary or a “non-binary male” and so his pronouns will be “he” or “they”, and you might get chewed out for using the wrong pronoun.