>What happens in your head when someone calls your name? Surely that's a feeling of identity?
I realize that someone is talking to me, but that has nothing to do with my identity. I doubt that that person and I have the same perception of who I am.
I think the discrepancy here is just different definitions of the word 'identity'. If someone is talking 'to you' then you are identified by that. It's not about your unique internal world, but about your uniqueness among humans (like a primary key identifies a database row).
I realize that someone is talking to me, but that has nothing to do with my identity. I doubt that that person and I have the same perception of who I am.