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This mentality is why I'm nomadding despite the constant threats of Return to Office. (I'm at Google.)

I spent a dozen years in San Francisco. I know what serves me there and what doesn't. I know that I find day-to-day life there low-key depressing. I know my friends there have largely moved away and/or moved on to the next chapters of their lives. I know it's way too hard to find a suitable romantic partner there.

Kowtowing to the RTO whims would be relegating myself to another year that's probably a lot like the other ones, with the hard parts getting harder with every year lost.

I don't know where my forever home is, but I owe it to myself to figure it out.



What would you say makes San Francisco particularly difficult to find a suitable romantic partner for you if you don’t mind answering? I am curious to hear what you think because I have also heard the same thing about SF and even about Austin, TX.


There are 12% more men than women there. This might not sound bad, but remember 37% of people in CA are already married…


It's also become very trendy to be "polyamorous" over there. I think part of it sort of fits with the culture where there are a lot of people constantly arriving in and leaving the city, and even people making a lot of money have to have roommates because housing is so expensive. It means there aren't a lot of people looking for anything long-term.


Sounds like it also means a few males get all the females, so odds are even worse.


I was talking to a coworker that lives in NYC, and apparently the ratio is reverse there. Up to 20% more women than men in some age brackets - he says it's really easy, and enjoyable, to date at his age (early 30s).


Where have you tried so far?




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